經典的初一英語小笑話

　　笑話,作為一種特殊的文學體裁,其中包含著深刻的社會意義。下面是小編帶來的初一英語小笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　初一英語小笑話大全

　　***一***

　　Three Turtles

　　No Wonder They Put Her Out

　　Jenny, ***looking at the crying new baby***: Has she just come from heaven?

　　Mother: Yes.

　　Jenny: Well, it's no wonder they put her out.

　　***二***

　　Joke of Today

　　A lesson about blood flow and circulation

　　A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."

　　"Yes, sir," the boys said.

　　"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

　　A little fellow shouted, "'It's because your feet aren't empty."

　　初一英語小笑話欣賞

　　***一***

　　Who Signed the Declaration of Independence

　　A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students. "Johnny, who signed the Declaration of Independence?"

　　He said, "Damn if I know."

　　She was a little put out***激怒*** by his swearing, so she told him to go home and to bring his father with him when he came back.

　　Next day, the father came with his son, sat in the back of the room to observe.

　　She started back in on her quiz and finally got back to the boy. "Now, Johnny, I'll ask you again. Who signed the Declaration of Independence?"

　　"Well, hell, teacher," Johnny said, "I told you I didn't know."

　　The father jumped up in the back, pointed a stern finger at his son, and said, "Johnny, if you signed that damn thing, hell, you damn well better admit it!"

　　***二***

　　Stupid Question

　　Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"

　　丹在一個大城市的某個俱樂部當守門人。每天都有數千人經過他的門口,而且許多人都會停下來問他:“請問現在幾點?”

　　After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.

　　幾個月後,丹想:“我不想再回答這些蠢人提出的問題了,我要去買一隻大鐘,把它掛在這兒的牆上。”於是他買了一隻鍾,把它掛在了牆上。

　　"Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily. But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?"

　　“現在人們總不會再停下來問我時間了。”他高興地想。可是打那以後,每天仍有許多人停下來,看看鐘,然後問丹:“這鐘準嗎?”

　　

　　***一***

　　Mississippi and Ohio

　　Teacher: What's your favourite state,Tommy?

　　Tommy: Mississippi.

　　Teacher: Then spell it.

　　Tommy: I changed my mind. I like Ohio much better.

　　***二***

　　What should I do next?

　　Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"