輕鬆幽默笑話三則

　　笑話是一種增強快樂的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情節簡單，文筆巧妙的形式出現，給人以出乎意料，並且取得笑意的藝術效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我們也需要偶爾的放鬆一下自己。下面小編為大家帶來輕鬆幽默笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　輕鬆幽默笑話：如此鄰居

　　Late for an appointment, I dashed out the front door and realized that I had left my keys on the kitchen counter. The back door was unlocked，but a six一foot wooden fence stood between keys and me. The car was parked so that I could stand on it to get up on the fence, but having put on my tightest jeans that morning, I couldn't get my other leg over far enough to reach anything on the other side.

　　約會馬上就要遲到了，我衝出了前門，接著意識到我把鑰匙落在了廚房的臺子上。後門沒有關，但是在我和鑰匙之間隔了一排六英尺高的木圍牆。車子就停在木圍牆的旁邊，所以我能踩著爬上圍牆，但是那天早上我恰巧穿的是那條緊身牛仔褲，無法把另一條腿叉開得足夠遠，以觸及圍牆那一邊的任何物體。

　　While straddling the fence, my dog nipping at my foot, I noticed a neighbor laughing at my predicament. Just as I was about to fall off and hope for the best, my neighbor cried, “wait” and disappeared into the house. Assuming he was going to get ladder to rescue me, I waited.

　　跨騎在柵欄上，我的狗不時地咬我的腳，這時，我發現有位鄰居正格格地笑我的窘境。正當我要跳下去，祈求上帝保佑之時，那位鄰居嚷道:“等一等!”旋即進了屋子。我琢磨著他是去拿梯子來搭救我，於是我就等著。

　　Minutes later he returned with his wife. "okay,”he yelled, "I just wanted Joanna to see this!”

　　幾分鐘後，他和太太一起回來了。“好了，”他衝我喊道:“我只是想讓喬安娜也來瞧瞧。”

　　輕鬆幽默笑話：誰死的更慘

　　Three stood by the golden gate and St. Peter said，St. Peter said, “sorry，we' re all filled up, so only one of you can come into heaven. So, out of you three, the one who had the most tragic death of all may enter the heaven.”

　　三個男人站在天堂門外，聖彼得說:“對不起，我們這裡已經人滿為患你們中只有一個人能夠進人天堂。所以，你們三個人當中死得最慘的那個才能進入。”

　　The first man spoke, "well，I am a newlywed and I tend to get jealous of my wife and her male friends, so I forbid her to see any of them when I was at work. But today I came home early and saw two wine glasses on the coffee table and when I asked my wife what was going on, she blushed and was silent. I searched the entire house for her male friend and finally I spotted someone’s hands grasping the railing on our balcony. In a fit of rage I stomped on the hands until the rascal fell 15 stories down into the bin below. When I realized he was still alive, I unhooked my fridge and throw it over the railing. In the process of doing this, I had a heart attack.”

　　第一個人說:“我剛結婚不久，很嫉妒我的妻子和他的男性朋友，所以在我上班的時候，我禁止她見任何的男性朋友。但是今天我回家較早，看見咖啡桌上放著兩個葡萄酒杯，當我問妻子發生了什麼事情的時候，她紅著臉不說話。我搜遍了整個屋子想找出那個男人，最後發現有個人的手抓住了我家

　　涼臺的欄杆。我對著那雙手就是一陣狂踢，直到那個流氓從十五樓上掉下去，可惜下面正好有一堆紙箱，當我得知他還活著時，就搬起家裡的冰箱從陽臺上向下砸去，然後就突發心臟病身亡。”

　　St. Peter replied, "wow, that's too bad. Next?"

　　聖彼得說:“噢，夠慘的。下一個?”

　　The second man began to speak，` I am a window washer and I was minding my own business and washing the seventeenth story windows at an apartment when my safety rope snapped and I began to fa11.I reached out and in a stroke of luck on to a balcony railing on the fifteenth. I was trying to catch my breath and wait it for someone to rescue me when some lunatic started to stomp on my hands until I lost my grip and fell into the bin below. I opened my eye in disbelief only to see a fridge come crashing down onto my head.”

　　第二個人說:“我是一個窗戶清潔工，一天我正在清洗公寓十七樓的窗戶，安全帶不幸突然崩斷，我開始墜落，但幸運的是我抓住了十五樓陽臺的欄杆，我屏住了呼吸等著人來救我，突然有個神經病人亂踢我的手，直到我失手掉進下面的一堆紙箱。我睜開眼睛一看，一個冰箱正朝我的頭上砸來。”

　　St. Peter replied: "my, my. . . that is bad. Next?"

　　聖彼得說:“哎喲，……夠慘的。下一個?”

　　The third man spoke last, "well, I was hiding in the fridge when. . .”

　　第三個最後說:“哎，我當時正藏在冰箱裡，突然……”

　　輕鬆幽默笑話：他的第二個妻子

　　A rich man and his wife went into a shop to buy a bracelet. Neither of them was very young. They looked at a lot of beautiful bracelets, and after half an hour there were two which they liked very much, but they had not yet been able to choose between them. One of them was very expensive, and the other was quite a lot cheaper.

　　一個富翁和他的妻子走進一家商店購買一個手鐲。他們倆人絕對都不年輕了。他們看了許多漂亮的手鐲。半個小時後他們終於挑選出兩個非常中意的手鐲，但是無法決定二者究竟應選哪一個。其中一個非常昂貴，另一個要便宜很多。

　　Of course, the shopkeeper wanted to sell them the more expensive one, because then he would get more money from them, so he said to the lady, "Oh, go on. Spend his money. If you don't, he will only spend it on his second wife.”

　　毋庸諱言，店主當然希望把那個貴的賣給他們，因為這樣就能從中賺更多的錢。“哦，快買吧，花他的錢。如果您不這樣，他只會把錢花在他的第二位妻子身上。”

　　For several seconds nobody said a word，and then the lady said angrily, "I' m his second wife!”

　　大家都默不作聲，幾秒鐘後，那位女士生氣地說道:“我就是他的第二個妻子!”