短篇英語小笑話

　　社會學家說現在是笑話時代,笑話無處不在，笑一笑,十年少 ,笑能延年益壽，蘇東坡說 百年須笑三萬六千場,一日一笑,此生快哉!下面小編整理了，希望大家喜歡!

　　：基本原則

　　One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to freshman class，he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at your watches during class. I do，however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they’re still running.”

　　位於吉拉多海角的密蘇里東南州立大學有一位我非常喜歡的老師，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在對一個新生班級講解他的基本原則時，他說:“我知道我的講課可能經常會枯燥乏味，了無興趣，所以如果你們在上課時看錶我並不介意。不過我堅決反對你們將表在課桌上猛敲，看它們是不是還在走。”

　　：提醒

　　Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to "warn" him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. "Forgot we were coming, didn't you?" I teased.

　　我們的兒子是密歇根州阿爾馬大學的新生，開學幾個星期之後，我和丈夫決定去看看他。我特意提前給他打電話，“提醒”他我們將光臨。但是當我們來到宿舍時，他的房間凌亂不堪，我非常吃驚。“忘了我們要來，是吧?”我取笑他。

　　"Are you kidding?" he replied，“Why else would I have bothered to clean?"

　　“開什麼玩笑?”，他回答說，“要不然我肯定已經自己打掃了。”

　　：逼真的戲劇

　　When I taught the introduction一to一theater course at North Dakota State University，I required my students to attend the university theater' s current production and write a critique, After viewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: "The play was so real, I thought I was actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television.”

　　我在北達科他州立大學教戲劇人門課時，要求學生們去看學校劇團當時的演出，並寫一篇評論。一場極為精彩的演出後，一名學生寫道:“這部戲劇是如此逼真，以致於我認為自己是坐在家裡的沙發上，從電視上看到的。”

　　：他的答案只比正確答案多二

　　Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an American college, and he was always trying to find good players，but they weren't always smart enough to be accepted by the college.

　　傑克·霍金斯是美國一所學院的橄欖球隊教練，他竭力想物色好球員。但是好球員學業不行，學校不願錄取。

　　One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well，”the dean said after some persuasion, "I’d better ask him a few questions first.”

　　有一天，教練帶著一位優秀的年輕球員去見院長，希望院方同意他免試人學。經過一番勸說後院長說:“那我最好先問問他幾個問題。”

　　Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn't know any of the answers.

　　然後他轉向學生，問了幾個非常簡單的問題。可是那個學生一個也答不上來。

　　At last the dean said, "Well, what’s five times seven?"

　　最後院長說:“那麼，五乘七得多少?”

　　The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty一six.”

　　學生想了很久，然後回答說:“三十六。”

　　The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly，"Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two.”

　　院長攤開雙手失望地看教練。可是教練認真地說，“噢，錄取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正確答案多二。”

　　：拿破崙病了

　　Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.

　　傑克到一所大學去學歷史。第一學期結束時，歷史課教授沒讓他及格。學校讓他退學。然而，傑克的父親決定去見教授，強烈要求讓傑克繼續來年的學業。

　　“He’s a good boy,” said Jack’s father" and if you let him pass this time，I’m sure he’11 improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”

　　“他是個好孩子，”傑克的父親說:“您要是讓他這次及格，我相信他明年會有很大進步，學期結束時，他一定會考好的。”

　　“No, no, that’s quite impossible,” replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!”

　　“不，不，那不可能，”教授馬上回答。“你知道嗎?上個月我問他拿破崙什麼時候死的，他都不知道。”

　　"Please, sir, give him another chance，” said Jack’s father. "You see, I' m afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill.”

　　“先生，請再給他一次機會吧。”傑克的父親說:“你不知道，恐怕是因為我們家沒有訂報紙。我們家的人連拿破崙病了都不知道。”