關於英語冷笑話短文閱讀

　　笑話***анекдот***是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。本文是關於英語冷笑話短文，希望對大家有幫助!

　　關於英語冷笑話短文：聰明的鳥

　　When the burglar broke into a seemingly empty room one night, a voice suddenly shattered the silence ;"I see you,and the saint sees you. "

　　一位竊賊一天夜裡闖進一個好像沒有人的空房子。突然寂靜中傳來一聲:“我看見你了，聖人也看見你了。”

　　The shaken thief took another tentative step.“I see you，”the voice said again:“and the saint sees you.“With that，the burglar shined his flashlight in the direction that the voice was coming from. There，in the circle of light，sat a parrot.

　　這位驚恐不安的賊又試圖再走一步，那個聲音又說:“我看見你了，聖人也看見你了。”聽到聲音，竊絨用手電照著聲音所傳來的方向。在那邊兒，一束燈光下坐著一隻鸚鵡。

　　"Dumb bird,!'the burglar uttered in relief.

　　“該死的鳥，”竊賊像鬆了口氣似地罵著。

　　"I see you，”the parrot repeated,”and the saint sees you. "

　　“我看見你了。”鸚鵡重複地叨嘮著:“聖人也看見你了。”

　　"Shut up，“the man snarled as he turned on a lamp， that's when he saw the menacing Doberman Pinscher sitting beside the parrot's perch，staring at him with glittering eyes.

　　“閉嘴，”竊賊邊開燈，邊喊叫著。這時他發現一條眼光咄咄逼人的構坐在鸚鵡旁。

　　" Sic' em，Saint,"squawked the parrot.

　　鸚鵡尖叫著:“聖人，撲呀!撲呀!”

　　關於英語冷笑話短文：磕睡之人

　　The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon. As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon.

　　收師非常生氣，因為總有一個人在他說教時睡覺。一個星期天，正當坐在前排的那個人打瞌睡時，牧師決定要好好地教育他不要睡覺。

　　In a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise，" Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering" Be seated"，the minister shouted at the top of his voice，"All those who want to be with the devil，please rise. "

　　他低聲地對教徒們說:“想去天堂的人都站起來。”除打瞌睡的人外，每個人都站了起來。牧師說過請坐之後，高聲喊道:“下地獄的請站起來!”

　　Awaking with a start，the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit,”Well，sir," he said.,"I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲所驚醒，站了起來。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣地望著他。他說:“先生，我不知我們在選什麼，但看上去你和我是唯一的侯選人。”

　　關於英語冷笑話短文：只剩一個引擎

　　A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker:"Attention，passengers. We have lost one of our engines，but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately， we will arrive an hour late as a result. "

　　一架747客機正跨越大西洋時，喇叭裡傳來了機長的聲音:“旅客們請注意，我們四個引擎之中有一個丟失了。但利下的三個引擎會把我們帶到倫敦的。不幸的是因此我們書晚到一小時。”

　　Shortly thereafter，the passengers heard the captain's voice again:"Guess what，folks. We just lost our third engine，but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late. "

　　過了一會兒，旅客們又聽到了機長的聲音:“各位，你們猜怎麼啦?”我們剛又掉了第三個引擎。但請你們相信好了，有一個引擎我們也能飛，但要晚三個小時了。”

　　At this point，one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake,"he shouted，"If we lose another engine，we'll be up here all night !"

　　正在這時，一位乘客非常氣憤地說:“看在上帝的扮止，如果我們再掉一個引拿，我們會整夜都呆在天上了。”