雙語幽默短笑話

　　笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：拿破崙病了

　　Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year，his history professor failed him in his examinations，and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However，his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.

　　傑克在一所大學學歷史。第一學期結束時，歷史課教授沒讓他及格。學校讓他退學。然而，傑克的父親決定去見教授，強烈要求讓傑克繼續來年的學業。

　　"He’s a good boy，"said Jack’s father,"and if you let him pass this time，I’m sure he’II improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”

　　“他是個好孩子，”傑克的父親說，“您要是讓他這次及格，我相信他明年會有很大進步，學期結束時，他一定會考好的。”

　　"No，no，that’s quite impossible，"replied the professor immediately.“Do you know，last month I asked him when Napoleon had died，he didn't know”

　　“不，不，那不可能，”教授馬上回答，“你知道嗎?上個月我問他拿破崙什麼時候死的，他都不知道。”

　　"Please sir, give him another chance,"said Jack’s father. "You see I'm afraid we don’t take any newspaper in our house,so none of us even knows that Napoleon was ill,"

　　“先生，請再給他一次機會吧。”傑克的父親說，“你不知道，恐怕是因為我們家沒有訂報紙。我們家的人連拿破崙病了都不知道。”

　　：教授趣事

　　Richer Allan was so forgetful that sometimes he forgot what he was talking about in the middle of a sentence. His wife has to constantly remind him about his appointments，his classes一even his meals.Since Allan was a professor at a well一known university，his forgetfulness was often an embarrassment. It was not that he was not intelligent，as some critical people，tended to say. He was just very，very absent-minded.

　　理查德·艾倫非常健忘，以至於有時候他會忘記自己在說什麼，因此他的妻子不得不經常提醒他去赴約，去上課—甚至去吃飯。可是作為一名知名大學的教授，艾倫的健忘症卻經常讓他很難堪。但這並不像一些吹毛求疵的人說的那樣是因為他並不聰明，他只不過非常、非常健忘。

　　One hot summer day，Professor Allan decided to take his children to the beach. The seaside town he planed to visit was about a three一hour train ride away. To make the trip more interesting for his children，he kept the name of the town a secret. Unfortunately，by the time Allan had arrived the train station，the poor forgetful man had forgotten the name of the destination himself. Luckily，a friend of his happened to be in the station. He offered to take care of his children，while Allan went back home to find out where he was going.

　　在一個炎熱的夏日，艾倫教授打算帶上他的孩子們到海灘去。去海邊小鎮大約得坐三個小時的火車。為了讓這次旅行更有趣，他一直沒告訴孩子小鎮的名字。不幸得很，當艾倫到達火車站的時候，這個可憐的健忘的人把目的地忘得一乾二淨了。不過幸虧他的一個朋友恰好在火車站，於是他幫助艾倫照顧孩子們，而艾倫則回家問問他到底要去哪兒。

　　The professor's wife was surprised to see him again so soon，but she was amused when she heard what the matter was. She distributed his memory，so she wrote the name of the town on a piece of paper. Satisfied that she had solved the problem，she sent her husband off again. Ten minutes later she was astonished to see him outside the house again. What was the matter now? The professor had forgotten where he had left his children.

　　教授的妻子見他這麼快就回來了，感到非常吃驚，但當她知道事情始末的時候卻被逗樂了。她信不過丈夫的記憶力，於是就把小鎮的名字寫在一張紙上。當解決完問題之後，她滿意地目送丈夫又一次離去。但是十分鐘之後他又回到了門外，她大吃一驚。現在又怎麼了?原來是教授忘了他把孩引門留在哪兒了。