英語幽默短笑話

　　我很高興

　　A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. Now, children, said she, has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?

　　Please, teacher, said a small boy, I've made someone glad yesterday.

　　Well done. Who was that?

　　My granny.

　　Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.

　　Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I'm going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, I'm glad’!

　　一個主日學校的老師正在對學生講使別人高興的重要性。現在，孩子們，她說：你們當中有誰讓別人高興過?

　　我，老師，一個小男孩說：昨天我就使別人高興過。

　　做得好，是誰呢?

　　我奶奶。

　　好孩子，現在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的。

　　是這樣的，老師。我昨天去看她，在她那兒呆了三個小時。然後我跟她說：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她說：‘啊，我很高興!’

　　Pirate's Treasure 海盜的財富

　　"Ten steps from the porch***門廊*** and twenty steps from the rose bushes," growled Bluebeard in Jimmy's dream one night. "There be treasure there! Aawrgh."

　　So the next day Jimmy began to dig. He dug until the hole was deep and the dirt pile was high.

　　He kept digging. The hole got deeper and the dirt pile got higher.

　　He dug until the hole was deepest and the dirt pile was at its highest. He sighed. "I'm too tired. I can't dig anymore." Then he spied something... but it was only one of Woofy's bones. Instead of treasure, all Jimmy had was a dog bone, a hole, and a big pile of dirt to fill it in with. He thought "That pirate lied to me!"

　　But when Jimmy's mother saw what he had done, she clasped***緊抱，扣緊*** her hands and smiled a smile from here to Sunday. "Oh, thank you, Jimmy. I always wanted a rhododendron***杜鵑*** bush planted just there. Here's $5.00 for digging that hole."

　　A dollar per point一分錢一塊錢

　　A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.

　　Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."

　　The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.

　　一天，教授正在給學生們監考。他發下試卷，然後回到講臺前等待。

　　考試結束了，學生們紛紛交回試卷。教授發現一張試卷上彆著一張百元鈔票，還有一張紙條寫著：“一分一塊錢。”

　　第二堂課，教授把試卷都發回學生們手中。其中一個學生不但得到了試卷還得到64塊錢的找零。