高中英語小笑話帶翻譯

　　下面是小編整理的，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：A Girl's Wish 小女孩的願望

　　On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.

　　在觀看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼兒園老師問學生的觀後感。班上最小的女孩說，她希望舞蹈演員可以長得更高一點兒，那麼他們就不用整天踮著腳尖了。

　　：It's not my fault 不是我的錯

　　It's not my fault

　　Mother ***reprimanding訓斥，譴責 her small daughter***: You mustn't pull the cat's tail.

　　Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.

　　不是我的錯

　　媽媽***正教訓她的女兒***：你不該拽貓的尾巴。

　　女兒：媽，我只是握著貓尾巴，它自己在拽。

　　：Where's the father? 父親在哪?

　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

　　兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

　　“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”

　　“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”

　　哥哥想了一會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”

　　：　Two Pieces of Cake 兩塊蛋糕

　　Two Pieces of Cake

　　Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

　　Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

　　兩塊蛋糕

　　湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?

　　媽媽：當然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!

　　：The Name of a Poet

　　Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.

　　“It works like this，”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns，for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman，a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”

　　“I see what you mean，”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”

　　poet

　　bobby

　　詩人的名字

　　我們的老師正在給我們介紹現在某些學校使用的一種新的記憶訓練系統。

　　“這個系統是這樣的，”她說。“假定你要記住一個詩人的名字一一例如，要記住羅伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告訴我們把他當作博比·彭斯。“讓你的腦海裡閃現出一個倫敦警察的形象，燃燒著的警察。明白嗎?警察燃燒!”

　　“我明白你的意思，”班上的萬事通說。“但是你怎麼能說那就不是羅伯特·布朗寧呢?”

　　n.詩人

　　n.[C][英][口]警察

　　：A Lesson In Reading

　　I had a schoolmate who had come into school at an age later than usual，and could hardly read. There was a book used by the learners in reading called“Dialogues between a Missionary and an Indian”，It was a poor performance，full of inconclusive arguments and other commonplaces.The boy in question used to appear with this book in his hand in the middle of the school，the master standing behind him.

　　The lesson was to begin.The poor fellow，whose great fault lay in a deep toned drawl of his syllable and the omission of his stops，stood half looking at the book，and half casting his eye towarcJs the right of him，whence the blows were to proceed. The master looked over him，and his hand was ready.I am not exact in my quotation at this distance of time;but the spirit of one of the passages that I recollect was to the following purport，and thus did the teacher and his pupil proceed:

　　Master: Now，young man，have a care;or I’II set you a swinging task. ***A common phrase of his.***

　　Pupil faking a sort of heavy bolt at his calamity，and never remembering his stop at the word“Missionary"***: Missionary Can you see the wind?***Master gives him a slap on the cheek.***

　　Pupil ***raising his voice to a cry, and still forgetting his stop***:Indian No!

　　Master: Zounds，young man ! have a care，how you provoke me

　　Pupil ***always forgetting the stop***: Missionary How then do you know that there is such a thing? ***Here a terrible thump.***

　　Pupil***with a shout of agony***:Indian Because I feel it.

　　一節誦讀課

　　當年我有個同學，入學比常規的年齡要遲，而且幾乎完全不會讀書。那時有個學生用的閱讀課本，叫做《傳教士和印第安人的對話》。課本不怎麼樣，盡是不得要領的論說和一些老生常談。那孩子常常手拿該課本出現在學校中央，身後站著教師。

　　授課即將開始。那可憐的學生的毛病在於他讀音節時語調深沉地拖長腔並略去應有的停頓。他站立著，三心二意地看著書，一面向身子右邊瞄去，因為打擊將會來自那個方向。教師盯視著他，手已擺出了打人的架勢。因為時隔已久，我的引述可能不很確切，但就我所憶，先生和學生的一次對話的要旨大致如下:

　　老師:“年輕人，小心點;要不我可要讓你狠狠吃點苦頭。”***這是他的口頭禪。***

　　學生:***大難臨頭，身體猛然一搖閃，根本記不得在“傳教士”一詞後應該停頓。***“傳教士你能看見風嗎?”***教師扇了他一耳光。***

　　學生:***提高了嗓音，幾乎是在哭喊，但仍不記得要停頓***“印第安人不能啊!”

　　教師:“該死!年輕人，小心點別惹我發火!”

　　學生:***一如既往漏掉停頓***“傳教士那你怎麼知道有這樣一種東西呢?”***這時來了重重一擊。***

　　學生:***痛苦地叫喊***“印第安人因為我感覺到了。”

　　：Dating for Mother 約會

　　When the young waitress in the café in Tom’s building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"

　　"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.

　　"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"

　　約會

　　在湯姆工作的大樓裡有一個咖啡屋，那兒總有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。湯姆有些受寵若驚，因為這位小姐看上去至少比他年輕15歲。一天她又對湯姆招手並示意湯姆過去。於是湯姆走了過去。她問道，“您現在是單身嗎?” “對，是單身，”湯姆滿臉堆笑的說。 “我母親也是，”她說，“您願不願意見見她?”