經典英語趣味笑話

　　在日常繁忙的生活中，也不要忘了放鬆自己的心情。下面是小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　：你知道我是幹嘛的嗎

　　One night a hotel caught fire，and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.

　　一天晚上，一家旅館失火，住在這家旅館裡的人穿著睡衣就跑了出來。

　　Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.

　　兩個人站在外面，看著大火。

　　"Before I came out," said one," I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire，the fire burn sit. So I took all the bills that I could find. No one will be poorer because I took them."

　　“在我出來之前，”其中一個人說，“我跑進一些房間，找到了一大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。如果有人把紙幣留在火裡，火就會把它燒成灰燼。所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了。沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。”

　　"You don't know my work," said the other.

　　“你不知道我是幹什麼的。”另一個人說。

　　"What is your work?" “你是幹什麼的?”

　　"I'm a policeman."

　　“我是警察。”

　　"Oh!" cried the first man. He thought quickly and said, "And do you know my work?"

　　“噢!”第一個人喊了一聲。他靈機一動，說：“那你知道我是幹什麼的?”

　　"No," said the policeman.

　　“不知道。”警察說。”

　　I'm a writer. I'm always tellings to ries about things that never happened."

　　“我是個作家。我總是愛編一些從未發生過的故事。”

　　：為抄近路走墓地

　　Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs。

　　萬聖節派對過後，兩男人圖個樂呵，打算抄近路穿過墓地回家。

　　Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows。

　　走到墓地中央時，他們被從迷霧中傳來的“答、答、答”聲驚嚇到了。

　　Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones。

　　正當兩人害怕得渾身顫抖時，他們看到是個老頭拿著鐵錘和鑿子，在一塊墓石上鑿著什麼。

　　"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

　　“哇塞，先生，”其中一人喘了口氣說，“你把我們嚇得半死啊，我們還以為遇上鬼了呢!那麼晚了你在這裡做什麼?”

　　"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

　　“那幫白痴!”老頭抱怨道，“他們把我名字拼錯啦!”

　　：真實的告解

　　A man walks into a confession booth and says,"I have sinned."

　　有一個男人走進告解室說：“我犯罪了”。

　　"What did you do?"asks the priest.

　　神父問：“你做了什麼?”

　　"I committed a murder."

　　“我犯了謀殺罪”

　　The priest says,"take a drink out of the holy cup and you will be forgiven."

　　神父說：“你喝一口聖盃的聖水，你就得饒恕。”