趣味經典英語笑話

　　在日常繁忙的生活中，也不要忘了放鬆自己的心情。下面是小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　：為什麼

　　A cemetery grounds keeper was going about his rounds when he saw a man lying on a grave,

　　“位墓園管理員在巡視的時候，看見一名男子躺在墳墓上，

　　sobbing loudly and pounding his fits on the ground,

　　大聲哭泣，並且用他的拳頭重重地敲打地面.他悲痛地說：

　　"Why did you have to die?Oh,why?Why?Why?"he lamented.

　　"你為什麼一定要死?哦，為什麼?為什麼?為什麼?”

　　"A loved one's passing is a terrible lose."the grounds keeper offered in consolation,

　　墓園管理員安慰他說“心愛的人死去是個很難受的損失，

　　"but someday,the pain will pass."

　　但是終有一天，傷痛會過去的。”

　　"Love one?" the weeping man said ,looking up.

　　這位哭泣的男子抬起頭看著他說：“心愛的人?

　　" I didn't even know the guy."

　　我根本不認識這個人。…

　　"Then why all the tears? "

　　"那為什麼要痛哭流涕呢?…"

　　"He was my wife's first husband!"

　　"他是我老婆的笫一任老公呀!”

　　：工作中的面試

　　Reaching the end of a job interview ,

　　到了工作面試的最後部分，

　　the personnel recruitment officer asken a young engineer fresh out of Cambridge,

　　人事招聘主管問一位剛從劍橋 橋畢業的年輕工程師：

　　" And what starting salary were you looking for?"

　　“你想要起薪多少呢 ?”

　　The engineer said,"In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year,depending on the benefits package ."

　　工程師說 ：“太約一年十四萬左右吧，要視整體福利而定。”

　　The interviewer said,"Well ,what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation,

　　面試主管說：“嗯，五個禮拜的假期，

　　14 paid holidays,full medical and dental,

　　十四天帶薪假，全額補助醫療和看牙科，

　　company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary ,

　　百分之五十薪資的公司相對退休基金，

　　and a company car leased every 2 years ,say,a red sports Mercedes? "

　　每兩年公司租用配車，比如說，紅色的賓士跑車，你覺得怎么樣呀?”

　　The engineer sat up straight and said ,

　　工程師挺直坐著說：

　　"Wow!Are you kidding?"

　　“哇!你在開玩笑吧?”

　　And the interviewer replied,"Yeah,but you started it."

　　面試主管回答說 ：“對呀。不過是你起頭的呀。”

　　：決不放棄

　　A government employee found and old brass lamp in a filing cabinet.

　　有一位政府機關員工在檔案櫃裡面發現一盞老舊的銅製油燈。

　　When he dusted it off,a genie appeared and granted him three wishes.

　　當他把它的灰塵除去的時候。有一個精靈出現了 ，並且同意他三個願望。

　　"I'd love an ice-cold beer right now,"

　　他告訴精靈 “我現在馬上就要一瓶冰啤酒 。”

　　he told the genie .Poof! A beer appeared .

　　砰!一瓶啤酒出現了。

　　Next the man said," I wish to be on an island,surrounded by becautiful and willing woman."

　　這個人接著說：“我想要到一個島上， 被甘心樂意的美女圍繞著。”

　　Poof!He was on an island with gorgeous woman fawning all over him.

　　砰!他到了一個島上，被美女糾纏著對他獻殷勤。

　　Oh,this is the life,the guy thought.

　　這傢伙想著啊，這才是生活呀。

　　"I wish I never had to work again."

　　“我希望我永遠都不必再工作。”

　　And poof! He was back at his desk in the government office!

　　砰!他回到他在政府機關的 辦公桌前。