有趣的英語搞笑經典笑話
你眼睛都閉上了
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
當一群婦女上車之後，車上的座位全都被佔滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒!”
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.“
我沒有睡著。”那個男人回答。
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
“沒睡著?可是你眼睛都閉上了呀?”
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
“我知道，我只是不願意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。”
乾淨的杯子
joe and fred were helping to build a house in a village. the weather was very warm, there was a lot of dust everywhere, and by half past twelve, they were very thirsty, so they stopped work to have their lunch. they found the nearest small bar, went in and sat down with their sandwiches.
喬和佛瑞德在一個村子裡幫忙蓋一間房子。天氣很暖和，到處都有許多灰塵。12點半的時候，他們覺得非常口渴，便停下來去吃午飯了。他們找到最近的一家酒吧，走進去坐下吃他們的三明治。
good afternoon, gentlemen. what can i get you? the man behind the bar asked.
下午好，先生。你們想要點什麼?櫃檯後面的伺應問道
joe looked at fred and said, beer, i think. yes, a pint of beer each. is that all right for you, fred?
喬看佛瑞德說：我想，啤酒吧。好，那就每人一品脫啤酒。這樣可以嗎，佛瑞德?
yes, that's all right. fred said. then he turned to the man behind the bar and said, and i want it in a clean glass! don't forget that.
好的，可以。佛瑞德說。然後他轉過去跟櫃檯後面的侍應說：我要啤酒裝在一個乾淨的杯子裡!別忘了。
the man behind the bar filled the glasses and brought them to joe and fred. then he said. which of you asked for the clean glass?
櫃檯後面的侍應倒滿杯子後，拿給喬和佛瑞德，接著說：剛才哪一位要乾淨的杯子的?
蘑菇與毒蕈
Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool?
年少的童子軍：我怎樣才能把蘑菇和毒蕈區別開呢?
Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.
年長的童子軍：上床前吃一個。如果你第二天早上醒來，那就是蘑菇。