七年級較短的簡單英文笑話
笑話的娛樂作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進身體健康。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!
：Who Is It?
A ship was passing by a desert ***荒無人煙的*** island, where stood a man who was shouting and waving wildly.
“Who is it?” the passengers asked the captain.
“I don’t know. When we pass here every month, he always does the same.”
：crawling home
A solid looking guy was sitting in a bar,drinking away.Suddenly he said to the bartender," I have to go home or the wife will be mad,she is always opposed to my drinking saying this would spoil my health".*** at this point he was loaded drunk***
He climbed down from the bar stool, and fell flat on his face. The man then said"I can't walk and I didn't have that much to drink?" .He got up to give it another try,this time the same thing happened and he falls flat on his face. He said with despair " I have to get home some way or the wife will kill me if I don't get home soon" !
He got an idea of crawling home,so away he went crawling home.He crawled up to his apartment and slowly snuck into bed with his wife trying not to wake her.
The next morning he woke up to see his wife running in the room. She said, " you were out drinking again last night weren't you !"The man replied with discouragement, " NO WAY!"And the wife said" YOU LIAR! I despise you ! The bartender just called and said you left your wheelchair at the club again last night"!
：The Man Upstairs
Mr.Johnson is 65 and retired now. Because he is a very good doctor, a lot of people still come to ask him to look them over. He's very busy in the daytime and wanted to have a good rest at night.
Several weeks ago, a young man moved in the room upstairs. Every night, the young man uptairs came back late. He always took off his shoes and threw them on the floor. At this time, the doctor was trying to sleep. But every night he heard the noise upstairs. Bang! One shoe. Bang! The other shoe. It was too bad. The doctor found it was very difficult to get to sleep and he was rather angry with the man upstairs.
One day, the doctor downstairs went to talk to the young man. He went upstairs and knocked at the door. The young man opened it. With a smile the doctor said:" I'm sorry to trouble you, sir."
"What is it?"
"Well, every time you get back at night, you drop your shoes on the floor. It happens every night. The noise wakes me up! Would you please not do that?"
" I'm very sorry, sir," said the young man." I won't do it again."
The next evening, the young man came back home from work late as usual. He was feeling very tired. He took off his first shoe and threw it on the floor. Then he remembered the doctor downstairs. So he took off the second shoe and put it on the floor very quietly. He had his supper, listened to the redio, read a newspaper and then went to bed. He was just falling asleep when there was a loud knock at the door. He opened it and saw the doctor from downstairs.
"Please!" said the doctor from downstairs." Please drop the other shoe! I was waiting for the sound of the other shoes! I can't get to sleep!"
：ate my socks
Jimmy and Kathy are newlyweds in the honeymoon suite on their wedding night, and Kathy’s in the bathroom. as Jimmy’s getting underdressed he says to himself, “how am I gong to tell her?” how am I going to tell my new wife that I have the world’s smelliest feet?” then he throws his socks under the bed . Kathy walks out of the bathroom and too chicken to face her, Jimmy runs past her and he goes into the bathroom. Kathy sits in the edge of the bed and says to herself, ”how am I going to tell him? How am I going to tell my husband that I have the world’s worst breath? I’ve got to tell him.” Just then Jimmy walk out of the bathroom . Kathy runs up to him, give him a huge wet kiss, pulls back and says, “Honey I’ve got to tell you something.” Jimmy says, ‘yeah I know . you just ate my socks.”
：單身漢
Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 傑克騎車摔傷,得住院治療.一位年輕美貌的護士拿著表格讓填.仞 傑克填好遞上表格"還有什麼漏填的?"護士問. "有!"傑克想了想說,"我是個單身漢."