關於幽默的英語笑話精選

　　笑話是一種頗受人們喜愛的民間敘事型別,材料豐富,有廣泛的現實基礎。小編整理了關於幽默的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　關於幽默的英語笑話：New Ceo Means Business

　　A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determinedto rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business! The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"

　　A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?" The CEO then hands the guy $1,200 in cash and screams, "Here's four weeks pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"

　　Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?" With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's.

　　關於幽默的英語笑話：Double The Wish

　　A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and, sure enough, out popped agenie.

　　"I will grant you three wishes," said the genie. "But there is a catch."

　　"What catch?" the man asked.

　　The genie replied, "Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted."

　　"Well, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man.

　　"What is your first wish?" asked the genie.

　　"Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!"

　　POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.

　　"Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris," said the genie. "Next wish?"

　　"I'd love a million dollars," replied the man.

　　POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.

　　"Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars," said the genie.

　　"Well, that's okay, as long as I've got my million," replied the man.

　　"What is your third and final wish?"

　　The man thought long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney!"

　　關於幽默的英語笑話：New Person In Prison

　　A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"

　　關於幽默的英語笑話：Bad Student

　　A kid comes home from school and his mother asks him, "How was school son?" He replies, "It wasn't good at all Mom, I had sex with my teacher." She blows up and tells him to go imediately to his room. His father comes home and walks into his room to find he is looking at someporno mags and says to his son, "You had sex with your teacher son?" Kid replies, "Yeah it wasn't good." The father says, "Well your only 14 years old and you have done a good job. We'll go tomorrow and get that new bike you have always wanted." They go the next day and get the bike. Then the father asks him, "Do you want to ride it home or just put it in the back of the truck?" The kid replies, "I better just put it in the back of the truck." They get into the truck and the father asks his son, "So why didn't you wanna ride it home?" The son tells him, "Because Mr. Green got me in the butt pretty hard yesterday."

　　關於幽默的英語笑話：Hussein And Bush

　　Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the First button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face.

　　Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.

　　But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"

　　A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's revenge. They begin talking and Bush presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. George snickers. A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter.

　　When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.

　　"Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"

　　Bush says through tears of laughter, "What Baghdad?"