關於幽默的英語短文精選
隨著社會經濟的發展和全球化的深入,學習者對於英語學習的要求也發生了變化。英語越來越成為人們使用的一種工具。小編精心收集了關於幽默的英語短文，供大家欣賞學習!
關於幽默的英語短文：我家的聰明狗會買報紙
A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a demonstration***演示*** and handed the dog some money - The dog trotted***小跑*** off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
“How much did you give him?” asked the owner.
“Five dollars.”
“Well, that explains it. When you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie.”
聰明狗
一位養狗人宣稱：要是給了愛犬錢，它便會到報亭買份報紙來。他的朋友堅持要來做個演示，並給了狗一些錢。狗一溜小跑著去了。但一個小時過去了，仍不見它帶報紙回來。
“你給了它多少錢?”狗的主人問。
“五元。”
“這就是了。你給它五元錢時，它就去看電影。”
關於幽默的英語短文：I know who god is!
A boy says to her mother, Mom, is God a man or woman?
The mom thinks a while and says, Well, son, God is both man and woman.
The son is confused, so he asks, Is God black or white?
The mother replies, God is both black and white, honey.
The son, still curious, says after a while, Is God gay or straight, mommy?
The mother, getting a little worried, answers, Son, God is both gay and straight.
The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: Is God Michael Jackson?
兒子：媽媽，上帝是白人還是黑人?
媽媽：寶貝，上帝是白人也是黑人!
兒子：那上帝是男人還是女人?
媽媽：寶貝，上帝是男人也是女人!
兒子：哦。我知道了，上帝是邁克爾·傑克遜!
關於幽默的英語短文：A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
由於生意方面的事，羅賓遜先生得出趟門。因為有點緊急，他決定坐飛機。乘機旅行時，他喜歡靠窗坐，故而一登機，他就尋找一個靠窗的座位。他發現只有一個靠窗的座位還空著。在那空座位邊坐著一名士兵。令羅賓遜先生納悶的是，這位士兵沒有坐靠窗的位置。羅賓遜先生不管那些，他馬上徑直朝那個空座位走去。
然而，等到了那兒，他看見座位上有則啟事，是用鋼筆寫的：“為保持裝載平衡，特預設該位置，謝謝合作。”羅賓遜先生還從來沒有在飛機上見過如此不同尋常的啟事。不過，他想飛機上一定裝了什麼特別重的物品，於是他找了個不靠窗的位置。
又有兩三個乘客試圖坐在那個士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他們看到那則啟事就走開了。當快滿座時，一位非常美麗的姑娘匆匆走進機艙。一直在注意進艙旅客的那個士兵趕緊拿掉他旁邊空座位上的啟事。士兵用這種辦法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
關於幽默的英語短文：Expensive Advice 昂貴的建議
The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who sought advice on a health problem.
"Do you think I should send her a bill?" the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.
"Why not?" the lawyer replied. "You rendered professional services by giving advice."
"Thanks," the physician said. "I think I'll do that."
When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found a letter from the lawyer. It read:
"For legal services, $50."
昂貴的建議
大夫在打發走了一個就健康問題向他諮詢的婦女之後，最後來到餐桌上。
“你認為我應該向她收費嗎?”大夫問坐在身邊的一個律師。
“有什麼不應該?”律師答道，“你通過提建議提供了職業性服務。”
“謝謝，”大夫說道，“看來我得這麼做。”
第二天當大夫去辦公室給那位婦女寫賬單時，他收到律師的一封信。信中寫道：
“請付法律服務費50美元。”