英語幽默簡短小故事

　　英語幽默故事簡短，內容詼諧幽默，情節生動有趣。今天小編整理了一些英語小故事，希望對大家喜歡。

　　英語幽默小故事：岳母

　　A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

　　一位職業獵人帶著妻子和岳母一塊去遊獵。一個傍晚，叢林深處，夫人突然發現母親不見了。她堅持兩個人都要努力去找到母親。

　　The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.

　　獵人拿起了他的來福，喝了一大口威士忌，開始找人。在營地不遠處，他們看到了一個令人震驚的地方：岳母背對著一大叢灌木，一隻雄獅正看著她。

　　The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"

　　夫人哭道：“我們該怎麼辦?”

　　"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

　　“沒什麼”，獵人丈夫說道，“獅子自己走進這麼亂的地方的，讓他自己出來吧。”

　　英語幽默小故事"Golfing with cows

　　A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

　　一個男人搖搖晃晃地走進了急診室，兩個眼睛是青的，脖子上有明顯的五指印。

　　Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.

　　醫生問他發生了什麼。“額，是這樣的，”這個人說。“我和我老婆來了幾局高爾夫，她把球打到一個牛群裡。”

　　"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.

　　“我們去找這個球，我四下搜尋，發現一頭牛的屁股後面有個白色的東西。”

　　"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."

　　“我走過去，舉起了它的尾巴想看清楚，我老婆的球就卡在牛的屁股中間。然後我犯了一個錯誤。”

　　"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

　　“你幹嘛了?”醫生問。

　　"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"

　　“額，我舉起了牛的尾巴，對我老婆喊道，'這個好像是你的!'”

　　英語幽默小故事：Hen House

　　The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out the back of the parish rectory. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens.

　　在一個小小的愛爾蘭村莊中，牧師非常地喜愛雞舍中的小雞。雞舍位於教區後面，裡面有一隻公雞，十隻母雞。

　　One Saturday night the cock rooster was missing and the priest suspected that it was because cock fights were being held in the village. So he decided to do something about it at church the next morning.

　　然而，公雞在一個星期六的晚上不見了，牧師懷疑可能是因為村裡舉辦了鬥雞比賽。他謀劃在第二天早晨去教堂做些事情。

　　At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?" All the men stood up.

　　當著大家的面，他問道：“誰有一隻公雞嗎?”所有的男人都站了起來。

　　"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?" All the women stood up.

　　“不是的，”他說，“我不是那個意思，有誰見到過一隻公雞嗎?”所有的女人都站了起來。

　　"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?" Half the women stood up.

　　“不是的!”他說，“我不是那個意思。有誰見過一隻不屬於自己的公雞嗎?”半數的女人站了起來。

　　"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my cock?" All the altar boys stood up.

　　“不是的。”他說，“我也不是那個意思。有誰見過我的公雞嗎?”所有的侍者男孩都站了起來。