幽默英語冷笑話帶翻譯

　　從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　1：

　　An army general telephoned to his unit in another place wanting to speak to someone. He said, "Hello!"

　　There was a soldier, playing like a sergeant or something, at the other end of the line. He didn't recognize the voice of the high general commander in chief. He said, "Hello! Are you okay? Are you all right? What's up, doc? We should go out drinking again sometime. All right?

　　So the general shouts at the top of his voice, "Do you know who are you talking with? Shut up!"

　　Suddenly, it was quiet for a long time at the other end of the line. Then he asked, "Who is it? Who's speaking?".

　　The general said, "I'm the General, Commander in Chief of your unit."

　　There was a longer pause, greater silence; and the other end said, "Do you recognize who's speaking to you also?"

　　The general said, "No, who are you?" The soldier said, "Oh, very lucky for me that you didn't! Good bye!"

　　有一位將軍，打電話到另一個地方給他下屬的一個單位，要和某個人通話，他說：“喂!”

　　在電話另一端的是一個士官之類的人，他聽不出這位總司令的聲音，他說：“喂，你好嗎?發生了什麼事啊?我們找時間一起出去喝酒吧!”

　　這個將軍在電話里拉開嗓門大吼：“你知道你在跟誰說話嗎?住嘴!”突然間，電話的另一端安靜了好長一段時間，然後才聽到士兵開口問：“是誰在說話?”

　　將軍說：“我是你們單位的總司令。”

　　又是一個更長的沉默，然後另一端說話了：“你聽得出是誰在跟你說話嗎?”將軍說：“不知道，你是誰?”

　　這名士兵說：“喔，你不知道，我太幸運了，再見!”

　　2：

　　One American came to Russia to have a look and visit. And there he saw all the secret police, and the people were scared and didn't smile. So the American said, "What's wrong?" He said to his friend, "What's that? You dare not say anything. In America, we can criticize the president and government anytime we want. We are free to criticize them anytime, about anything." So the Russian friend said, "Yeah, here we're also free to criticize the American government and its president any time."

　　有一個美國人去俄國考查訪問，他看到很多祕密警察，人民都很害怕，面無笑容。所以他問朋友：“怎麼回事?這算什麼?你們什麼都不敢說。在美國，我們隨時都可以批評政府和總統，不管什麼時候、對任何事情，都可以自由批評他們。”那位俄國朋友說：“是啊，在我們這裡，隨時也都可以自由批評美國總統跟政府。”

　　3：

　　A child aged seven or eight ran hastily to the police station and told a policeman, "Please come quickly! A man is at my house beating up my father. He is dying!" The policemen therefore rushed to the scene with the child. They indeed saw two men fighting with one another. The policeman said, "Which one is your father?"

　　The child answered, "I also do not know who is my father, that's why they are fighting."

　　有一個叫阿達的小孩，七、八歲，匆匆的跑到警察局，說：“哎呀!警察，請你們趕快來，有人在我家那邊打我爸爸，快打死了!”警察就趕快衝，跟著小孩子跑回來，果然看到有兩個男人在那邊互相打架。那個警察說：“哪一個是你的爸爸?”

　　小孩說：“我也不知道誰是我爸爸，所以他們兩個才打起來。”

　　4：

　　At age of 83, granddad went to hospital for the first time. "What is this?" he asked as he held up the bell cord they had fastened to his pillow.

　　"That's the bell, Granddad." I replied.

　　He pulled it several times, then remarked, "I don't hear it ringing."

　　"Oh, it doesn't ring," I explained. "It turns on a light in the hall for the nurse."

　　"Well!" he replied indignantly. "If the nurse wants a light on in the hall, she can turn it on herself."

　　爺爺在83歲的時候，第一次住進了醫院。“這是幹什麼用的?”他抓起系在枕頭旁邊的呼叫鈴的繩子問道。

　　“那是拉鈴用的，爺爺。”我回答說。

　　他拉了幾下問：“我怎麼聽不到鈴響呀?”