幽默英語笑話短文欣賞

　　兵不厭詐，就是要利用一切可利用的手段去打倒敵人，不要怕被別人笑話。本文是幽默英語笑話短文，希望對大家有幫助!

　　幽默英語笑話短文：兩名士兵

　　Two soldiers were in camp. The first one's name was George, and the second one's name wasBill.

　　軍營裡有二名士兵，一個叫喬治，一個叫比爾。

　　George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

　　喬治問：“比爾，你有信紙、信封嗎?”

　　Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

　　比爾說：“有。”然後把信紙和信封給了喬治。

　　Then George said, "Now I haven't got a pen."

　　喬治又說：“我還沒有筆呢。”

　　Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter.

　　比爾又把自己的筆給了他。喬治開始寫信。

　　Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.

　　寫完後把信放進信封裡，又問：“比爾，你有郵票嗎?”比爾給了他一張。

　　Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"

　　這時比爾站起來，向門口走去。喬治問：“你要出去嗎?”

　　Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

　　比爾說：“是的。”隨即打開了門。

　　George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

　　喬治說：“請幫我把這封信投進辦公室的信箱裡，還有...”他停住了。

　　"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

　　“你還要什麼?”比爾問。

　　George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What's your girl-friend's address?"

　　喬治看著信封說：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

　　幽默英語笑話短文：Best Reward

　　Best Reward A naval officer fell overboard.

　　最好的獎賞 一名海軍軍官從甲板上掉入海中。

　　He was rescued by a deck hand.

　　他被一名甲板水手救起。

　　The officer asked how he could reward him.

　　這位軍官問如何才能酬謝他。

　　"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it.

　　“最好的辦法，長官，”這名水手說，“是別聲張這事。

　　If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."

　　如果其他人知道我救了您，他們會把我扔下去的。”

　　幽默英語笑話短文：你知道我是幹嘛的嗎

　　One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.“Before I came out,”said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money.People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire，the fire burns it.So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.” “You don't know my work，” said the other.“What is your work?”“I'm a policeman.“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman.“I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.”

　　一天晚上，一家旅館失火，住在這家旅館裡的人穿著睡 衣就跑了出來。兩個人站在外面，看著大火。“在我出來之前，”其中一個說：“我跑進一些房間，找到了一大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。如果有人把紙幣留在火裡，火就會把它燒成灰燼。所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了。沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。” 　 “你不知道我是幹什麼的。”另一個說。“你是幹什麼的?” “我是警察。” “噢!”第一個人喊了一聲。他靈機一動，說：“那你知道我是幹什麼的?”“不知道。”警察說。“我是個作家。我總是愛編一些從未發生過的故事。”