經典英文幽默笑話大全

　　笑話是現代社會發展最快的一種口頭文學體裁,它體現了某一民族行為中最深刻的和潛意識中的觀點。小編整理了經典英文幽默笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　經典英文幽默笑話篇一

　　health, excellent

　　The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful***憤怒的*** as he read

　　"English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad***少年，小夥子***.

　　"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed1 to the next line which read, "health, excellent."

　　父親在看他那滿懷希望的兒子帶回來的學校成績單。他邊看邊露出憤怒的表情：“英語，差;法語，差;數學，中。”他厭惡地瞥了在發抖的兒子一眼。

　　“爸爸，”兒子說，“可能成績不夠理想。但您看到那一項了嗎?”他指了指下一行：“健康狀況，優。”

　　經典英文幽默笑話篇二

　　I can't let him get away

　　A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately.

　　The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."

　　"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day."

　　不能讓他跑了

　　一隻雄蟹遇到一隻雌蟹，便要娶她為妻。她注意到他走路是直著走，而不是橫著走。哇!她想，這隻雄蟹可真特別，我可不能讓他跑了。因此他們立刻結婚了。

　　第二天，她又發現她的新郎像其他蟹一樣橫著走路了。她深感不安。“你怎麼了?”她問，“我們結婚前你可是直著走路的。”

　　“哦，寶貝，”他回答說，“我不可能每天都喝那麼多。”

　　經典英文幽默笑話篇三

　　the ugliest baby

　　A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

　　一位女士抱著她的寶寶上公交車，司機看到後說：“額，那是我這輩子見過的最醜的小孩。”

　　The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

　　女士走到車廂後面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對旁邊的男士說：“司機剛剛羞辱了我。”男士迴應說：“你快上去斥責他。去吧，我替你抱著你的猴子。”