短篇英語笑話故事閱讀

　　英語笑話是內容豐富並具有出乎意料結尾的幽默口頭故事。小編精心收集了短篇英語笑話故事，供大家欣賞學習!

　　短篇英語笑話故事：父親的東西

　　When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tallas his father，so he began to borrow Mr.Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.

　　Mr.Howard did not like this， and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.

　　One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out， his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully.

　　Then he said angrily，“Isn't that one of my ties，Tom?”

　　“Yes，Father，it is，”answered Tom.

　　“And that shirt's mine too，isn't that one of my ties，Tom?”

　　“Yes，that's yours too，”answered Tom.

　　“And you're wearing my belt!” said Mr.Howard.

　　“Yes， I am， Father，”answered Tom.“You don't want your trousers to fall down， do you?”

　　父親的東西

　　湯姆·霍華德17歲的時候，長得和他父親一般高了，於是當他想和朋友晚上一起出去時，就開始借穿起霍華德先生的衣服來。

　　霍華德先生可不喜歡這樣，所以，當他發現兒子穿了他的什麼衣服時，就總是十分惱火。

　　一天晚上，正當湯姆走下樓來要出去時，父親在門廳裡攔住了他。他細細地打量著湯姆身上的穿著。

　　然後他氣呼呼地說：“湯姆，那不是我的一條領帶嗎?”

　　湯姆回答說：“是的，父親，是你的領帶。”

　　他的父親又繼續問：“還有那襯衫也是我的，對吧?”

　　湯姆回答說：“是的，那也是你的。”

　　霍華德先生說：“還有，你連皮帶也是用我的!”

　　湯姆回答說：“是呀，父親。你總不希望讓你的褲子掉下來吧，是嗎?”

　　短篇英語笑話故事：He Was Only Wrong by Two

　　Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren't always smart enought to be accepted by the college.

　　One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I'd better ask him a few questions first."

　　Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn't know any of the answers.

　　At last the dean said, "Well, what's five times seven?"

　　The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."

　　The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."

　　他的得數只比正確答案多二

　　傑克霍金斯是美國一所學院的橄欖球隊教練，他竭力想物色好球員。但是好球員學業不行，院方不願錄取。

　　有一天，教練帶著一位優秀的年輕球員去見院長，希望院方同意他免試入學。經過一番勸說後院長說：“那我最好先問問他幾個問題。”

　　然後他轉向學生，問了幾個非常簡單的問題。可是那個學生一個也答不上來。

　　最後院長說：“那麼，五乘七得多少?”

　　學生想了很久，然後回答說：“三十六。”

　　院長攤開雙手失望地看教練。可是教練認真地說，“噢，錄取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正確答案多二。”

　　短篇英語笑話故事：I Didn't Notice It

　　Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?

　　Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn't notice the other.

　　我沒有看到它

　　母親：約翰尼，今天早上我在食品櫥裡放了兩塊蛋糕，現在只剩下一塊了，你說是怎麼回事?

　　約翰尼：哦，我想是因為裡面太黑，我沒有看見另一塊。

　　短篇英語笑話故事：Accident

　　Workman：“Mr.Brown，I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages. I have just been married.”

　　Employer：“Very sorry，my dear man， but I can't helpyou. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside thefactory we are not responsible.”

　　事故

　　工人：“布朗先生，我想請您給我加一點工資。我剛剛結了婚。”

　　僱主：“非常抱歉，老兄，但是我無能為力。對工人在廠外發生的事故我們概不負責。”

　　短篇英語笑話故事：An Explanation of Tardiness

　　In some Government offices the clerks， upon arrival in themorning， have to sign their names in an“attendance book”.This book provides space for signature， time of arrival， and“remarks”. Ten minutes after the hour an official draws a redline under the last arrival's name， and all those coming subsequently are expected to furnish an explanation of their tardinessin the“remarks” column.

　　When a real“London particular①” occurs the number“below the line” is legion ;the first of them wirtes：“Delayedby fog，” and the rest scribble a“ditto”.

　　One morning—a foggy one—Mr. Jones became a proud father;but even this only caused him to be about eleven minutes late. Proudly he wrote in explanation：“Wife had twins，”which was followed in due course by the usual string of “ditto's”!

　　遲到的原因

　　在一些政府機關裡，每天早晨到達辦公室時職員們都要在一本“簽到簿”上籤上他們的名字。這本簽到簿留出空格簽名，寫簽到時間，還有“備註”。上班時間過後十分鐘，一個官員就在最後一個人的名字下面劃一道紅線。以後來的每一個人都必須在“備註”欄裡註明遲到的原因。

　　當真正的“倫敦大霧”出現的時候，“紅線以下”的名字就很多。第一個遲到的人寫上“因大霧延誤時間”，其他的人，在下面草草寫上“丷”***同上***。

　　一天早上——一個大霧迷漫的早晨——瓊斯先生驕傲地當上了父親;但即使是這種事也只讓他遲到了十一分鐘。他自豪地寫上他的原因：“妻子生了一對雙胞胎，”到一定的時候，這個解釋下面照例又跟了一串“丷”。