關於最爆笑的英語笑話閱讀
笑話是現代社會發展最快的一種口頭文學體裁,它體現了某一民族行為中最深刻的和潛意識中的觀點,。小編整理了關於最爆笑的英語笑話,歡迎閱讀!
關於最爆笑的英語笑話:我把他吊起來讓他晾乾
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital.
Jim和Mary都是精神病院裡的病人。
One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom.
一天,他們沿著醫院的游泳池散步,Jim突然跳入泳池的深水區,他沉到了底部。
Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
Mary立刻跳下去救他,她潛到水底,把Jim拉了上來。
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office.
當院長聽聞了Mary的英勇行為後,他立刻翻她的病歷檔案,把她叫進了自己的辦公室,“Mary,我有一個好訊息和一個壞訊息要告訴你。
"Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses.
好訊息是你能跳入水中救其他病人,這說明你的意識已經恢復了,你可以出院了。壞訊息就是,Jim,你救的那個病人,他還是用自己的浴袍帶子在浴室上吊自殺了。”
The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom,he's dead." Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I hung him up to dry."
Mary說:“他沒有自殺,是我把他吊起來好讓他晾乾。”
關於最爆笑的英語笑話:假如生活是一臺電腦
You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel.
你可以通過控制面板增加或者刪除一些人;
You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it!
可以把孩子放進回收站,然後在你喜歡的時候再還原。
You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings.
可以通過調整顯示器的設定讓外表更好看;
You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy.
可以在吵鬧的時候關掉音箱;
You could click on “find” ***Ctrl, F*** to recover your lost remote control and car keys.
可以點選“搜尋”找到丟失了的遙控器和車鑰匙;
To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!
鍛鍊身體的時候,點選“執行”。
If you mess up your life, you could always press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!
要是你的生活一團糟,同時按下“ctrl, alt, delete”鍵,一切重新開始。
關於最爆笑的英語笑話:
誠實嗎?
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
在動物園,我無意中聽到兩個學齡前的小男孩在聊天。
"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second.
“我叫Billy。你叫什麼名字?” 一個男孩問題。“Tommy”,另一個男孩回答。
"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.
“我爸爸是一位會計師,你爸爸是做什麼的?”Billy問Tommy。
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy.
“我爸爸是一位律師,”Tommy回答。“真的嗎?”Billy問。
"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
“不是啦,就跟別的律師一樣。”Tommy回答。
關於最爆笑的英語笑話:吉娃娃怎麼可能會要了羅特韋爾的命?
A man walks into a bar one day and asks,"Does anyone here own that Rottweiler outside?"
一個男人走進酒吧問,“外面那條羅特韋爾狗是誰的?”
"Yeah, I do!"; a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"
“我的,” 一個騎摩托車的男人站起來說,“怎麼了?”
"Well, I think my Chihuahua just killed him""What are you talkin' about?!"the biker says,disbelievingly.
“哦,我想我的吉娃娃剛要了它的命……”“你在說什麼啊?”騎摩托的人覺得難以置信,
"How could your little runt kill my Rottweiler?""Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"
說,“就憑你那隻小不點,怎麼可能殺得了我的羅特韋爾狗?”“哦,它卡在你的狗的喉嚨裡了。”