兒童幽默英語笑話

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　1：

　　A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

　　The teacher said it was physically1 impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

　　The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.

　　Irritated, the teacher reiterated2 that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

　　The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

　　The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

　　The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

　　一個小女孩和她的老師正在談論有關鯨魚的事情。

　　她的老師說：“一頭鯨魚從身體構造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一個人的。因為儘管鯨魚是一種非常巨大的哺乳動物，可它的嗓子非常小。”

　　那個小女孩說約拿***一位西伯來先知***就是被鯨魚吞掉的。

　　她的老師非常生氣，她再次告訴小女孩說：“從身體構造角度來講，鯨魚是不可能吞掉一個人的。”

　　那個小女孩說：“那等我到了天堂，就去問問約拿。”

　　她的老師問：“那麼，假如約拿下了地獄怎麼辦?”

　　那個小女孩回答：“如果是那樣的話，你就去問他。”

　　2：

　　A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them.

　　When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so.

　　When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning?"

　　一個鄉下少年到處尋找蝸牛，當他雙手都塞滿了蝸牛後，就準備點火烤著吃。

　　火點著了，蝸牛也開始感覺到熱了，他們紛紛退向堅殼的深處，同時還發出“噝噝”的噪音。

　　男孩子聽到了蝸牛發出的噓聲，便說：“你們這些連命都快沒有的傢伙，怎麼還能有心情在窩裡著火時吹口哨呢?”

　　3：

　　After watching the movie Cinderella, my five-year-old daughter started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was fairy godmother. "Make three wishes." She told me, "and I'll grant them." I first asked world peace. She swung her wand and proclaimed my request fulfilled. My next wish was to cure all the sick children. Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, she obliged. Since I am a somewhat large woman, my third wish was not a surprise. "I wish to have a trim figure again," I announced. My 'fairy godmother' started waving her wand madly. "I'll need more power for this!" she exclaimed.

　　《灰姑娘》的電影后，我那5歲的女兒開始用玩具風車當墨棍，扮演起童話中的教母來。“許下三個願望吧，”她對我說：“我會讓你如願以償的。” 我先是許下了世界和平的願望，她搖晃這魔術棍，然後對我說祈求如願了。 我的下一個願望是讓所有生病的兒童都康復，她像上次那樣搖晃著魔術棍，然後讓我說出最後一個願望。因為我現在發了福，所以我的第三個願望也是不足為奇的。“我希望我能重新有個苗條的身材。” 我那童話教母開始用力的搖晃著她的魔術棍，嘴上還振振有詞的說：“要想實現這個願望我的需要更大的魔力。”