生活幽默英語笑話
在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放鬆自己。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!
：大眾傳媒
Curiosity killed a cat.
愛管閒事，自己吃虧。
Jack's father and the professor are talking about Jack.
傑克的爸爸正在和教授談論傑克。
A:Why did you fail Jack in his examination, and tell him he would have to leave the university?
你為什麼給傑克不及格並讓他必須退學?
B:Because he really cannot continue his study in the univversity.
因為他確實不能在大學裡繼續他的學業了。
A:But he is a good boy. If you let him pass this time. I'm sure he will make a progress next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.
可他是一個好孩子。如果這次您能讓他過關，明年他一定會大有長進，而且在年終的時候能夠非常出色地通過考試。
B:No,too,that's quite impossible! Do you know, last monthI a sked him when Napoleon died, and he didn't know!
不，木行，那是根本不可能的，你知道不知道，上個月我問他拿破崙足什麼時候去世的，可他居然會不知道。
A:Please sir,give him another chance. You see.Iam afraid w e don't take any newspapers in our house, so none of us even knew that Na- poleon was ill recently.
先生，請再給他一次機會吧。您要知道，恐怕是因為我們家裡沒有訂報紙吧，所以我們全家甚至沒有一人知道拿破崙最近得了病。
：電影風暴
Mr.and Mrs.Jones seldom go out in the evening.But last Satur-day, Mrs. Jones want to go to the cinema.
瓊斯夫婦晚上很少出去。可上星期六，瓊斯太太想去看電影。
A:There is a good film at the cinema tonight. Shall we go and see it?
今晚電影院有場好電影，我們去看嗎?
***Mr. Jones was quite happy about it. So they went and both of them en-joyed the film very much!When they came out of the cinema, it was al-ready 11 o'clock. They got into their car and began driving home. It was quite dark.
瓊斯先生對此感到非常高興。於是他們便去了，他倆兒都喜愛這部影片。當他們從電影院出來時已經11點鐘了。他們趕緊上了車，開始朝家開去，天色很黑。***
A:Look，Bill. A woman is running along the road very fast, and a man is running after her. Can you see them?
快看，比爾!有個女人正沿著公路飛快地奔跑，後面還有一個男人在追她，你看見了嗎?
B:Yes, I can.***Driving the car slowly near the woman***Can I help you?
是的，我看見了。***把車慢慢地開到女人身旁***我能幫助你嗎?
C:No, thanks. My husband and I always run home after the film because whoever gets home late will wash the dishes.
不，謝謝。我和我丈夫每次看完電影之後總是跑著回家，因為誰最後到家，誰就要洗盤子。
：瘋狂舞會
This story makes the proverb"Like father, like son"come true.
這個故事正應驗了“有其父必有其子”那句諺語。
A:I had much trouble with my son Dick.
我現在管不了我兒子迪克了。
B:You should not worry about that in the least for I had trouble withmy daugllter too.
你用不著擔心，我也經常與我女兒發生矛盾。
A:I suppose Dick's like me that way too I believe.
我想，迪克隨我。
B:That's not bad.
那並不是件壞事呀!
A:That's just too bad.I told him time and again not to do wh atI did but to do what I told him to do.but that didn't seem to work at all.
問題就壞在這裡了。我三番五次地告訴他，不要照我做的去做，而要照我說的去做。可似乎根本沒有用。
B:Look here,Bill,suppose you just tell me what's happened and I'Il try to work things out for you.
比爾，看著我，究竟發生了什麼，你快告訴我。我將幫你理出個頭緒來。
A:Well,I sort of told Dick not to go to see striptease ladies, for he could see tllings he actuallV shouldn't and what do you think he did?
我，呃，呃……告訴他不要去看脫衣舞女郎，因為他可能會看到不該看的東西，你知道他怎麼了?
B:What?
怎麼?
A:Believe it or not. that was exactly what he did,and do you know what he saw there7
信不信由你，他恰恰那麼做了，你猜他看到了什麼?
B:Er,well,I am not much of an expert but I can guess what the boy...
呃，這個方面我不是專家，不過我猜想那孩子……
A:That's it.You've guessed it right. He saw me there.
沒錯，你猜對了，他看見我在那兒。