關於醫生和病人的英文笑話
在古老年代，由於交通的限制，醫師和病人多數在一個較小的地域內活動，醫生也主要是個體開業。醫師的第一批病人往往是親戚朋友，繼而是熟人相托，口耳相傳，互相間平時就比較瞭解。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!
篇一
病人和他的大夫
A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”
一位婦女總是抱怨其丈夫在家裡轉來轉去，無所事是，為了使老婆高興，他找到了精神病學專家。“你就躺在沙發上，我們來談談。”精神病醫生告訴他:“如呆你想起什麼就說，沒有的話，下次再講也行。”
The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.
這位男士舒適地躺在沙發上，很快就入睡了。到了一小時，大夫喚醒了他說:“今天就到這兒吧，請交100元。”病人付了錢之後就走了，從此，那個人每週三、四來就診。每次，他總是一句話也不說，光是睡覺，而且每次都付錢。第三週，病人來後坐下，然後又跳了起來。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"
“啊哈!”大夫驚喜道，“你想出要說的話了嗎?”
"Yes，do you need a partner ?"
“是的，你需要一個助手嗎?”
篇二
A patient had lost his memory. He went to see the doctor.
Doctor: When did this happen?
Patient: When did what happen?
一個病人失去了記憶，去看醫生。
醫生：這是什麼時候發生的?
病人：什麼是什麼時候發生的?
篇三
Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?
Dentist: Wear a brown tie...
病人：醫生，我滿口黃牙，怎麼辦呢?
牙醫：打棕色領帶……
篇四
Mother: My son’s average grades in school are making me ill.
Doctor: It sounds to me you’re suffering from C-sickness.
媽媽：我兒子在學校裡的平均等級讓我不舒服。
醫生：我聽起來象你因為缺維生素C而難受。
注：醫生的話還可理解成：聽起來象你因為兒子是C類學生而難受。
篇五
Hospital Doctor: Well, Mr. Peabody, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which would you like first?
Mr. Peabody: The bad, please.
Doctor: Well, the bad news is that we have to amputate both your feet.
Mr. Peabody: And the good news?
Doctor: The man in the next bed wants to buy your slippers.
醫院醫生：Peabody先生，我有一些好訊息和一些壞訊息，您想先聽哪個?
Peabody先生：請先說壞的。
醫生：壞訊息是我們必須切除您的雙腿。
Peabody先生：好訊息呢?
醫生：您旁邊床上那位先生想買您的拖鞋。