關於英語爆笑笑話帶翻譯

　　笑話,是供人們消遣或交際的一種創造性的語言形式,其主要功能是調侃、娛樂或諷刺。它是人們生活中不可或缺的組成部分,與社會密切相關。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　A Contrivance 一個計策

　　An old man visited a doctor to consult1 as2 to what he should do,. The doctor gave3 him some instructions4.

　　The old man shook5 his head and started to leave the office. The doctor said6: "Sir, you forget to pay7 me." "Pay you for what?" said the old man. The doctor replied8: "For myadvice9."

　　"No, sir, no, sir," the old man replied, "I am not going10 to take it."

　　有個老頭去找醫生諮詢，問他該怎麼做，醫生給他提了一些建議。

　　老頭搖搖頭就要離開診室。醫生說：“先生，你忘記了付費了。”“付什麼費呀?”老頭說。醫生回答說：“付諮詢費給我呀。”

　　老頭說：“不啦，先生，我沒有打算接受你的意見。”

　　篇二

　　Unbearable 受不了了

　　A traveler came to a small Middle Western town. He decided1 to stay for a few days.

　　When he was about to write his name on the hotel register, he saw a bedbug crawling across the page.

　　"It is really unbearable," he said, flinging down the pen. "I've been bitten by fleas3 in Missouri, mosquitos in Jersey4, horse flies in Kansas-but this is the first place I was ever in where abug2 looked over the hotel register to find out the number of my room. Why, where on earth I should go!"

　　有個旅行家來到中西部的一個小市鎮。他決定留下待幾天。

　　當他正要在旅店的登記薄上簽名時，看到有個臭蟲從單子上爬過去。

　　他就扔下手中的筆說：“真受不了了，我在密蘇里被跳蚤咬過，在西澤被蚊子咬過，在堪薩斯被馬蠅咬過—而在這裡會有一個臭蟲到登記臺來找我的房間號碼，我還是第一次遇到呢。

　　篇三

　　A Car Thief 盜車賊

　　A man has a long history of stealing cars. When he did it again, he was caught by the police.

　　The prosecutor1 asked him, "Now tell the court how you came to take that car." To defend himself, the man said, "The car was parked by a cemetery2. I thought the owner was dead, and then I took it."

　　有個人有長期偷車的經歷。當他又一次偷車時，被警察抓住了。檢控官對他說：“現在要告訴法庭你是怎樣偷走這部車的。”

　　檢察官問他，“現在據實交代你為何要偷這輛車。”這個人為自己辯解說：“這部車是停在一個墓地旁的。我以為車主已經死了，就把它開走了。”

　　篇四

　　A cheerful response 欣然迴應

　　A college student was taking a pre-Christmas examination1.

　　As he couldn't answer some questions, he complained and wrote the complaint on the examination paper as a message. It read: "God only knows the answers to these questions, Merry Christmas."

　　When his professor found the message, he returned the paper to the student with a cheerful note as a response. It read: "God gets an A; you get an F. Happy New Year."

　　一個大學生在參加聖誕前的一次考試。

　　有幾個問題他不會回答， 就大發牢騷，還把他的牢騷話寫在試卷上作為附筆：“只有上帝知道這些問題的答案。聖誕快樂。”

　　他的教授看到了這句話，就把試卷發回給他，並附上一個欣然的回答：“上帝得了個‘優’，你得了個‘差’。新年快樂。”

　　篇五

　　Who was to blame 該怪誰

　　A woman was hit by a man in a junction1***交叉點***. The man said she was to blame. The woman protested that it wasn't her fault.

　　But a witness said, "You certainly were to blame." The woman said disapprovingly2, "It was this man who hit me. Why do you say so?" The witness said, "Because his father is mayor and I'm engaged to his sister." "It's unfair!" said the woman angrily.

　　一個女人在一個交叉路口被一個男人撞了。男人說該怪她，女人說不說她的錯。

　　可是有個目擊者說：“當然要怪你。”女人不滿地說：“是這個人撞了我，你怎麼這麼說呢?”目擊者說：“因為他的父親是市長，我又和他的妹妹訂了婚。”女人很氣憤地說：“這不公平。”