小學生英語小笑話帶翻譯

　　在明清笑話中,存在著許多戲說《論語》的現象，戲說《論語》的慣用技巧大致有九種。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　精選

　　***一***

　　如此長的狗 Such a Long Dog

　　Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It's a wonder that the dog is so long.

　　從前有個瞎子。一天，他正在行路時踩著了一隻正在睡覺的狗的腦袋，狗汪汪汪地叫了一陣。這人又往前走，這回踩著的是另外一隻狗的尾巴，狗又汪汪汪地叫起來。瞎子以為還是那條狗，驚詫地說：奇怪，這隻狗可真夠長的。

　　***二***

　　浪費還是節約Waste or Save

　　Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning.Don't you know you are wasting time?

　　父親：噢，傑克，你又睡了一上午。難道你不知道你這是在浪費時間嗎?

　　Jack: Yes, Dad. But I've saved you a meal, haven' I?

　　傑克：我知道，爸爸。可我還給您節省了一頓飯呢，是不是?

　　閱讀

　　***一***

　　你必須先把車窗搖上去

　　A woman got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop.

　　一位女士把車撞了一個坑,於是就去修車。

　　The repairman decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her all she had to do was to take ithome and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.

　　修理工決定幽她一默。他告訴她,她只需把車開回家,然後從排氣管裡往車裡吹氣,直到凹陷處自己鼓起來。

　　After 15 minutes of this, a lady-one of the woman's friends came over and asked what shewas doing.

　　這位女士如法操作了15分鐘。這時,她的一位女性朋友來拜訪她,並問她在做什麼。

　　"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."

　　“我正在試著讓那個坑鼓起來,但這個辦法似乎並不管用。”

　　"Duh you have to roll up the windows first!"

　　“嗯……你必須先把車窗搖上去!”

　　***二***

　　第一次第二次第三次

　　A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquillity* hadlong been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret oftheir long and happy marriage.

　　一對夫婦在慶祝他們的金婚紀念。鎮上的鄰居都交口稱讚他們的家庭和睦，於是一位本地報紙的記者前來採訪，以希探尋他們長久和睦婚姻的原因。

　　"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the lady. "We visited the Grand Canyon andtook a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when myhusband's mule stumbled."

　　“這得從我們蜜月旅行說起，”太太解釋道。“我們當時去大峽谷旅遊，各騎一條馱騾行走在峽谷底部。走了不多遠，我丈夫的驢絆了一跤。”

　　"My husband quietly said 'That's once.' We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbledagain. Once more my husband quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when themule stumbled a third time."

　　“我丈夫平靜地說‘第一次’，繼續走了一段後驢又絆了一跤，我丈夫依舊平靜地說‘第二次’，當我們走了半英里，驢絆了第三次。”

　　"My husband promptly removed a revolver* from his pocket and shot him."

　　"I started to protest over his treatment of the mule when he looked at me and quietly said'That's once.'"

　　我丈夫迅速掏出***射死了驢。我開始抱怨丈夫，不該這麼對待馱騾。他平靜地看著我，說“第一次”。