關於高中英語笑話短文

　　笑話是一種常見的幽默傳達方式。笑話是口頭或者書面的幽默語言。一方面，笑話可以使人輕鬆愉悅，忘記憂愁困擾;另一方面，一些笑話不僅搞笑，還能揭示發人深省的至理箴言。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　篇1

　　Would You Give Up?

　　A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself: "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."

　　A stranger walks up to him and whispers: "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"

　　The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless but also that perhaps this is a good omen and will put him in the right frame of mind to make the difficult putt and says, "OK."

　　And sinks the putt.

　　Two holes later he mumbles to himself: "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole."

　　The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?"

　　The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." And he makes an eagle.

　　Down to the final hole. The golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?"

　　The golfer says, "Certainly." And makes the eagle.

　　As the golfer walks to the club house, the stranger walks alongside and says, "You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't know who I am.

　　I'm the devil, and from now on you will have no sex life."

　　"Nice to meet you," says the golfer. "My name's Father O'Malley."

　　篇2

　　Jesus, Are You There?

　　A drunk stumbles along a Baptismal service on a Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to stumble down into the water and stands next to the Minister. The Minister turns, notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk looks back and says, "Yes sir, I am." The Minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the Minister asked. "No, I didn't!" said the drunk. The Minister then dunks him under for a quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now brother, have you found Jesus?" "No, I did not!" said the drunk again. Disgusted, the Minister holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him up and demands, "For the grace of God, have you found Jesus yet?!" The old drunk wipes his eyes and pleads, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

　　篇3

　　Executive Recruit

　　A successful female executive stood before the Pearly Gates, facing St. Peter himself. "Strange,"mused St. Peter, "we've never had an executive make it this far before. I'm not sure what to do with you. While I think it over, I'll let you experience a day here and a day in Hell."

　　So the female exec spent an entire day lounging on clouds, playing the harp, having intelligentcivilized discussions with great philosophers. Her 24 hours passed quickly and she was then transported to Hell where the Devil took her to a beautiful country club where she found many of her old friends, dressed to the nines, drinking, joking, laughing, having a great time. They talked old times, played golf, had steak and lobster, drank Champagne and danced till dawn. Before she knew it, her 24 hours was up and she was back at the Pearly Gates.

　　St. Peter said, "I've considered your placement, and decided I'll just let you choose where you wish to spend eternity."

　　She thought only briefly before she replied. "Well, Heaven was nice, but, no offense, I had a great time in Hell." And back down she went. But this time she found herself in a desolatewasteland covered with garbage. Her friends were still there, but now they were dressed in rags, picking up garbage and carrying it from one pile to another.

　　"Wait a minute," stammered the woman to the Devil, "I don't understand. Yesterday when I was here, there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and drank Champagne and we danced the night away, having a wonderful time. Now everyone's slaving away shoveling garbage."

　　The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting you. Today, you're staff!"

　　篇4

　　Married Couple

　　On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St.Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven.

　　St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked. "Let me go find out." and he left.

　　The couple sat and waited for an answer...for a couple of months...and they began to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together forever?"

　　St. Peter returned after yet another month, looking some what bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven."

　　"Great,"said the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

　　St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.

　　"What's wrong?", asked the frightened couple.

　　"COME ON!" St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it will take me to find a lawyer?"