經典趣味幽默笑話

  在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘記了放鬆自己。下面小編為大家帶來四則,希望大家喜歡!

  :混合雙打

  Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?

  體育老師:孩子們,你們見過男女混合雙打嗎?

  Nick: Yes sir. Quite often. I saw it even last night.

  尼克:是的,老師,經常見。昨天夜裡我還見過呢?

  Teacher: Please tell us something about it

  老師:那你就給大家講講當時的情形吧。

  Nick: Oh, sorry, sir. My father always says,‘Domestic shame should not be published.’

  尼克:啊,對不起,老師。我爸爸常說:“家醜不可外揚。”

  :我自己過去

  There was once a landlord who always pretended he was knowledgeable though he was completely unable to read or write.

  從前,有一個地主是個既不會讀也不會寫的文盲,但他卻偏要在人前裝作很有學問。

  One day when the landlord was chatting with his guests, a servant came in and gave him a letter which asked him to lend a cow. The landlord was afraid that his guests would know he was unable to read or write, so he opened the envelope and glanced over the words. Then he said to the servant, "OK, please tell him I’11 go there myself in a few minutes.”

  一天,當地主正和賓客聊天的時候,僕人走進來遞給他一封信,信上請他出借一頭牛。地主害怕被客人知道自己是個文盲,於是他開啟信封,瞧了瞧信上的字,然後對僕人說:“好的,你告訴他我等一下自己過去。”

  :你好,水手

  The grizzled old sea captain was quizzing a young, tyro naval student.

  一個頭發灰白的老船長在測驗一個從海軍學校畢業的新手。

  "What steps would you take if a sudden storm came up on the starboard?"

  “如果船的右弦突然颳起了暴風雨,你會採取什麼措施?”

  "I'd throw out an anchor, sir.”

  “我會拋錨,先生。”

  "What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"

  “如果船尾也颳起了暴風雨,你會怎麼做?”

  "I'd throw out another anchor, sir.”

  “我會再拋一個錨,先生。”

  "But what if a third storm sprang up forward?"

  “那麼如果船頭第三次颳起了暴風雨,怎麼辦?”

  "I'd throw out another anchor, captain.”

  “我會再次拋錨,船長。”

  "Just a minute, son, Where in the world are you getting all these anchors?"

  “等一下,孩子。你到底從哪弄來那麼多錨的?”

  "From the same place you’re getting all your storms,sir.”

  “從您弄來暴風雨的地方,先生。”

  :要叫先生

  Teacher: ***to a new boy*** What’s,your name, my little fellow?

  老師:***對一位新生說***小同學,你叫什麼名字?

  New boy: Erbert Arris.

  新生:我叫赫博特·阿瑞斯。

  Teacher: Always say ‘sir' please, when you are speaking to master. It's more polite.

  老師:請你跟老師說話時叫先生,這樣比較有禮貌。

  New boy: *** apologetically ***Sir Erbert Arris.

  新生:***帶歉意地***我叫赫博特·阿瑞斯先生。