英語搞笑對話

　　笑是人天生表情的一部分，它沒有人主觀意識的驅動，是屬於自發行為;而搞笑，則是人類主動去尋求快樂。下面是小編給大家整理的，供大家參閱!

　　篇1

　　有一天，俺商店裡來了個外國人買西餐料。他選好一樣東西，俺就在計算器上摁出價錢給他看。當然俺有點不好意思了，而且俺還會句英語。

　　於是 ，俺就對他說：

　　“I am sorry”。

　　“I am sorry， too” 外國人回答。

　　“I am sorry three” 我道。

　　“What are you sorry for?” 外國人問。

　　“I am sorry five” 我說……

　　男：Can I buy you a drink?我可以為你買一杯飲料嗎?

　　女：Actually I''d rather have the money.不必，我我寧願留下那些錢。

　　篇2

　　TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

　　GEORGE: Here it is!

　　TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

　　CLASS: George!

　　2. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".

　　ELLEN: I is...

　　TEACHER: No, Ellen. We always say, "I am."

　　ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

　　篇3

　　TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?

　　CLASS: Big hands!

　　篇4

　　TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?

　　STUDENT: Yes, Sir.

　　TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?

　　STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.

　　篇5

　　TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-feet snake.

　　SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.

　　篇6

　　男:Hello, I’m Ben. May I ask you some questions?

　　女:Sure.

　　男:What is your father’s name?

　　女:Happy!

　　男:Then, What is your mother’s name?

　　女:Smile!

　　男:Are you joking?

　　女:No! That’s my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census staff? 男:Of course not.

　　女:Go ahead.

　　男:OK. Your name is Kidding. Kidding, I'm going to start a

　　band. Will you join us?

　　女:Sure, Ben. I'd love to be in a band

　　男:OK, good. Which instrument do you play? I heard that you

　　can play piano very well.

　　女:Piano? I don't play an instrument actually.

　　男:What are you good at?

　　女:I sing. I like music with great lyrics.

　　男: So do I. Who else do you think can join us?

　　女:Well, Dave is supposed to be a good one.

　　男:Really? What does he like?

　　篇7

　　四個人登場,進行自我介紹

　　印度人:Good morning, boys and girls. I’m India and the monitor of the class.

　　中國人: Hello, everyone. I’m Chinese.

　　美國人: Hi, I’m American.

　　日本人,自我介紹的時候鞠個躬,顯示所謂的禮儀: Hi, I’m Japanese and my English is very poor;

　　Pangbai: During the National Day ,they travelled from Xi’an to

　　Shanghai passby Luoyang. It’s said that some interesting

　　and funny story have been happened when they travelled.

　　Now , they will show us what actually happened in their

　　trip.

　　India: Well, I rent a car, but the car can only take three people. I

　　have an idea that we take turns to ask questions, anybody

　　who give the right answer can get on, or run following the car.

　　Do you agree with me?

　　三個人異口同聲地回答,尤以日本人最活躍.

　　Yes ,sir. No problem.

　　Inida: Now ,as the monitor of the class I will question now. Are you

　　ready?

　　三個人再次異口同聲地回答,日本人還是最活躍

　　Yes, we are ready.

　　India: Hi ,American, how many sun in the sky?

　　American: Such a simple question. The answer is only one.

　　India: Good job. And Chinese guy, how many moon in the sky?

　　Chinese: So easy, it’s one.

　　Japanese: wow , laughing…,陰笑 these questions are so simple and

　　our Japanese are so clever.

　　India: Hi. Japanese. Do you know how many stars in the sky?

　　Japanese: Stars? Are you kidding me? Sorry, I don’t know.

　　India淫笑: I’m sorry, you don’t give me a right answer. So, we three go to Luoyang by car and you follow us. Let’s go.對其他兩人說.

　　Pangbai: Now, the Chinese , the India, the American trave to

　　Luoyang by car and the Japanese have to run following the

　　car. Several days later, the three man have taken a tour in

　　Luoyang and they are talking about their fells. But the

　　Japanese is still on his way.

　　American: 描述一下洛陽,百度多的是,我也是搜的.在此省略了.

　　Chinese: We have to go now, bur where is the Japanese?

　　Japanese: 氣喘吁吁地跑過來,彎著腰說 Thank god, I come up with

　　you finally.

　　India: 對日本人說 Are you OK?

　　Japanese: 立馬直起腰 I can’t be fine any more.嘴硬!

　　India: Good! Now, we start the second round questioning andChinese

　　guy, This is your hometown and as host you question us.

　　Chinese: OK, it’s my turn. I’ll ask questions about our Chinese

　　history and monitor, Do you know the Liberation Campaign

　　of China.

　　India: Let me see. It’s LiaoShen War, PeiPing war and HuaiHai War.

　　Chinese: Absolutely right. And American, Do you know how many

　　soldiers sacrificed in that war?

　　American: En…, I think it’s about 500,000.

　　Chinese: Good! And Japanese, do you know their names ?

　　Japanese: names? 苦笑,垂頭喪氣地,I don’t know.

　　Chinese” I’m sorry, boy. You failed again.假惺惺地拍拍日本人的肩

　　膀,對其他倆人說,Let’s go.

　　Pangbai: Another time, the Japanese travelled on foot and the other

　　three by car.. Suddenly they met each other somewhere on the rode outside the Luoyang city.

　　American: Hi. Japanese, how are you ?

　　Japanese:邊跑邊說,氣喘吁吁 I’m fine. Thank you ,And you ? around We can’t be fine any more.

　　Chinese: See you in Shanghai.

　　Pangbai: Several days later. The three men had enjoyed their good

　　time in Shanghai and the Japanese is still on his way. But

　　fortunately, they had changed their car for fore-seat. It

　　seemed that the Japanese still don’t know. Now they are

　　talking about their felling about Shanghai.

　　Chinese: 描述上海.百度搜.

　　India” It’s really an interesting journey and time up, we should go

　　home. But where is the Japanese?

　　Japanese: 累死累活的跑過來Wait me for a while. I’m here. India: OK! Let’s go back.

　　Japanese: wait, wait… ,I don’t think it’s fair to me . I have run from

　　Xi’an to Shanghai and I have to answer the first question. India: What question?

　　American: 與中國人對視一笑 OK! I pick out a question for you.

　　How many leaves in that tree?

　　Japanese: one , two , three …, wow , so many. I can’t find the answer.

　　My god, I have to run from Shanghai to Xi’an again. 說完跑開了.

　　Chinese: what a foolish the Japanese man. Our car have four seats.

　　Why he run away again?

　　India: Become fool when run, I think.

　　Pangbai: Several days later. They all back to Xi’an. Now they are

　　here and having my class; “Hi, boys, how is your trip?”

　　Japanese: It’s terrible . I am so tired.

　　Pangbai: you are a real marathon runner and you three?

　　India: we all have enjoyed the trip.

　　Pangbai: 鈴響了 Time flies. We have ten minutes break. 美國人往外走, 不小心被日本人撞了一下.發生如下對話.

　　Japanese: I'm sorry,sir.

　　American: I'm sorry, too.

　　Japanese: two? I'm sorry three?

　　American: What are you sorry for?

　　Japanese: four? I' m sorry five.

　　American: What do you want to say?

　　Teacher: 老師聽不下去了,生氣了.這時,the teacher got down and

　　knocked the head of Japanese and said :"I have taught you for two years ,What did you say just now! Time up, we have the class now."

　　Teacher: En......Last week, we...

　　此時中國人登場了,打斷老師的講話.

　　Chinese: Mr. Hu, May I go to the toilet?

　　Teacher: 一揮手,說道 Go ahead!

　　聽到這個這個中國人坐下了.

　　Teacher: Last week, we ....,,

　　Chinese: Mr. Hu, May I go to the toilet?

　　Teacher: 呃,再次說道 Go ahead.

　　聽到這個,中國人再次坐下了.一旁的印度人催他去,但他無動於衷. Teacher: Last week, we ...

　　Chinese: Mr. Hu. May I go ....

　　Teacher: Don't disturb me any more. I have said go ahead, go ahead.

　　Why don't you go?

　　Chinese: You alway say that go ahead, go ahead. It means去你個頭

　　呀. How can I go ?

　　Teacher: Unbelievable! Now you can go to the toilet.

　　Chinese: But I ' m fine now. Thank you.

　　Teacher: It' s up to you. Last week, we have assigned a dialog

　　between Chinese and American. And are you ready now? Chinese & American: Yes!

　　Teacher: Now , the Chinese acts for a waiter and the American for a

　　foreign guest. What will happen between them?

　　Chinese: Hello.

　　American: Hello.

　　Chinese: You have what thing?

　　American: Can you speak English?

　　Chinese: If I not speak English, I speak what?

　　American: Is anybody else speaking English?

　　Chinese: You yourself look, All people are playing, no people have

　　time. You can wait, you not wait you go.

　　American: Good heavens ! Anybody else can speak English?

　　Chinese: Shout what shout! 啊, give me a little quilt. ....en.... You

　　have what thing?

　　American: I want to speak to your head?

　　Chinese: Head? Head 今天沒來, Tomorrow 你來吧.