英語短笑話大全

　　冷笑話不同於一般的笑話，以其獨特的制笑機制，能瞬間製造出一種特殊氛圍。小編精心收集了英語短笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　英語短笑話篇1

　　Little boy: Daddy, I want to get married.

　　小男孩：爸爸，我想結婚。

　　Father jokingly said: Oh! Who did you have in mind?

　　爸爸打趣地問道：噢!誰是你心中合適的人選?

　　Little boy: Grandma.

　　小男孩：奶奶。

　　Father: Wait a minute, you did not think I'd let you marry my mother, did you?

　　爸爸：等一下，你認為我會讓你娶我的媽媽?

　　Little boy: Why not? You married mine.

　　小男孩：為什麼不?你娶了我的媽媽。

　　英語短笑話篇2

　　As a band instructor at an elementary school, I require my students to turn in practice sheets signed by their parents so I can be sure they are putting in enough time.

　　作為一個小學的樂隊指揮，為了確保學生投入足夠的時間練習，我要求他們上交由他們父母簽字的練習單。

　　I had to laugh, however, when one parent wrote on her child's sheet, "Practiced 17 minutes, but it seemed like hours.

　　可是有一次，一位家長的簽字把我逗樂了。練習單上寫著：“練習了17分鐘，但猶如幾個時辰。”

　　英語短笑話篇3

　　A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. his friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - the dog trotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.

　　一位養狗人宣稱：要是給了愛犬錢，它便會到賣報亭買份報紙來。他的朋友堅持要來個演示，並給了狗一些錢。狗一溜小跑著去了。但一個小時過去了，仍不見它帶報紙回來。

　　"how much did you give him?" asked the owner.

　　"five dollars.

　　“五元。”

　　"well, that explains it. when you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie.

　　"這就是了。你給它五元錢時，它就去看電影。

　　英語短笑話篇4

　　Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.

　　一個人得了重病，妻子伴隨他去看醫生。檢查過後，醫生示意病人的妻子到走廊見他。

　　"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.“

　　你丈夫病得很重，”醫生說，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要營養美味。第二，給他一個輕鬆的環境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都對他傾注熾熱的愛。”

　　On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"

　　在驅車回家的路上，丈夫問道：“醫生說了什麼?”

　　"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it.“

　　很遺憾，“你活不成了。”