關於英語笑話的小短文
民間笑話故事像神話小說等民間文學一樣，是廣大勞動人民在長期的生產勞動和與自然界作鬥爭的過程中，以口頭形式創作和傳承的文學體裁。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!
：Three Surgeons
Three famous surgeons were bragging about***吹噓，炫耀*** their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist***小提琴家*** ." "That's nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched***縫紉，裝訂***them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner."
"I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior***後部，臀部*** - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."
三個有名的外科醫生正在吹噓他們的技術，“一個人斷了一隻手，他來找我，”一個說，“如今那個人是個音樂會的小提琴手。”
“這算不了什麼，”另一個說，“一個傢伙兩條腿斷了，他來找我，我將它們接了回去。如今，那人是馬拉松選手。”
“我比你們兩個都強，”第三個說，“一天，我碰到一起可怕的車禍，除了一個馬屁股，和一幅眼睛，什麼都沒有留下。如今，那人坐在美國參議院裡。”
：Good wishes 良好的心願
One day a boy came to his teacher and said: Teacher, pa wants to know if you like roast***烘烤*** pig.
I certainly do, said the teacher, and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me.
Days passed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig.
Finally the teacher said to the boy: I thought your father was going to send me over some roast pig.
Yes, said the boy, he did intend to, but the pig got well.
一天有個男孩去對他老師說：老師，我爸想知道你是不是愛吃烤豬肉。
當然囉，老師說，去告訴你父親，多謝他想著我。
好幾天過去了，再沒提起烤豬肉的事兒。
最後老師對男孩說：我以為你父親要給我送點烤豬肉來呢。
是啊，孩子說，他是這麼想的，可後來豬又沒病了。
：He Swore to Die 他曾發誓要死
If you refuse to marry me, he swore, I shall die. She refused him. Sixty years later, he died. 如果你不答應嫁給我，他發誓，我就要***。 她拒絕了他。 六十年後，他死了。
：Do You Know My Work 你知道我是幹嘛的嗎
One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.
Before I came out, said one, I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find. No one will be poorer because I took them.
You don't know my work, said the other.
What is your work?
I'm a policeman.
Oh! cried the first man. He thought quickly and said, and do you know my work? No, said the policeman.
I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.
一天晚上，一家旅館失火，住在這家旅館裡的人穿著睡衣就跑了出來。
兩個人站在外面，看著大火。
在我出來之前，其中一個說，我跑進一些房間，找到了一大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。如果有人把紙幣留在火裡，火就會把它燒成灰燼，所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了，沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。
你不知道我是幹什麼的，另一個說。
你是幹什麼的?
我是警察。
噢!第一個人喊了一聲，他靈機一動，說：那你知道我是幹什麼的?不知道。警察說。
我是個作家，我總是愛編一些從未發生過的故事。
：An Exact Number 準確數字
A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur***恐龍*** bones lying about.
How old are these bones? the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide.
Exactly one hundred million and three years old.
How can you be so sure? inquired the tourist.
Well, replied the guide, a geologist***地質學家*** came by here and told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three years ago.
一位遊客在新墨西哥遊覽，他對隨處可見的恐龍化石甚感驚奇。
這些化石有多長的歷史?遊客問一個上了年紀的當地美國人，他是作嚮導的。
整整十億零三年了。
你怎麼這麼肯定?遊客問道。
哦，嚮導回答道，一個地質學家來過這兒，他告訴我說這些化石有十億年了，再加上那是整整三年前的事了。