經典輕鬆幽默英語笑話

　　在日常繁忙的生活中，也不要忘了放鬆自己的心情。下面是小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　：會說話的鐘

　　While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"

　　一個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那個大銅鑼和錘子是幹什麼用的?”他的一個朋友問他。“那玩意兒厲害了，那是一個會說話的鐘”，學生回答。“這鐘怎麼工作的”，他的朋友問。

　　"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"

　　“看著，別眨眼了”，那學生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽到隔壁牆那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，你這白痴!現在是凌晨兩點鐘了!”

　　：我老婆的照片

　　A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.

　　一個生意人走進一家酒館，在吧檯坐下，點了一杯加冰的雙料martini。

　　After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.

　　喝完，那生意人往自己襯衣的口袋裡瞥了一眼，然後又讓服務員把杯子滿上。

　　After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.

　　喝完，生意人又往自己襯衣的口袋裡瞥了一眼，然後又讓服務生幫他把杯子滿上。

　　The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."

　　這時酒館的服務生說話了，“呃，老兄，我整個晚上給你倒martini都沒有問題，但你得告訴我，你為什麼在點下一杯酒前都要往自己襯衣的口袋裡偷偷看那麼一眼”。

　　The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."

　　生意人回答，“我看的是我老婆的一張照片。如果照片上的人開始變得好看起來，那就說明我喝得差不多了，該回家了。”

　　：毒蛇

　　A father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither.

　　一個陽光明媚的下午，蛇父親和蛇兒子出去散步。

　　The son asks, "Dad，are we poisonous snakes?" The father replies proudly, "Yes son, we are rattler snakes! Why do you ask son?" "Because DAD, I just bit my tongue!!"

　　兒子問：“爸爸，我們是毒蛇嗎?”父親得意的答道：“當然了，孩子，我們是響尾蛇啊!為什麼這麼問呢?”“因為，我剛把舌頭咬破了!”