關於初中英語幽默小短文

　　真正的幽默板著面孔，而周圍的人們卻圍著它笑;虛假的幽默本身笑個不停;而周圍的人們卻板著面孔。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：聽到那樣真令人難過

　　a foreign visitor touring the great american west came across an indian with his ear pressed to the ground.

　　一位外國遊客到美國大西部遊覽，碰到一個印第安人把耳朵緊貼在地上。

　　"what are you listening for?" he asked.

　　“你在聽什麼呢?”他詢問道。

　　"stagecoach pass about half hour ago."

　　“一輛馬車半小時前曾經過這裡。”

　　"how can you tell?"

　　“你怎麼知道呢?”

　　"broke my neck."

　　“我的脖子被撞斷了。”

　　：一個真正熱愛國家的人

　　The airplane was obviously in trouble. One engine was on fire, anther was sputtering, and the machine was slowly, ineluctably losing height.

　　飛機顯然出了問題，一個引擎著火，另一個嘎嘎作響，不可避免地，飛機緩慢地失去高度。

　　Finally the grim-looking captain entered the cabin.

　　最後，面色凝重的機長走進客艙。

　　"Ladies and gentlemen," he announced," we've lost most of our power. The only way to keep the plane aloft is to lighten our load. We've already dumped the baggage, but it's not enough. I'm asking for volunteers to make the supreme sacrifice so that others may live."

　　“各位女士，各位先生，”他宣佈道，“我們已失去了大部分的動力，要保持飛機高度的唯一方法就是減輕我們的載重。雖然我們已經把行李丟掉，但還是不夠，我要求幾位自告奮勇犧牲生命以保全其他人的性命。”

　　After a few minutes of stunned silence, a Frenchman stood to quivering attention, shouted" Vive la France!" and threw himself out the door.

　　一陣目瞪口呆的沉寂之後，一位法國人顫抖著站起來喊道：“法國萬歲!”然後跳出機門。

　　Shortly thereafter, an Englishman rose to his full height, coolly declared," God Save the Queen!" and followed the gallant Frenchman.

　　之後一會兒，一位英國人站了出來，他冷靜地說：“上帝保佑女王!”接著和那位勇敢的法國人一樣跳出門外。

　　Finally, a Texan rose from his seat, cried," Remember the Alamo!" and threw out the Mexican sitting next to him.

　　最後，一位德州佬從座位站起來，叫道：“毋忘阿拉摩!”說著便把隔鄰的墨西哥乘客扔出窗外。

　　：安瓜拉瓜拉!

　　a politician was out on the indian reservation displaying his sympathy for the oppressed native americans. he addressed a gathering of the people.

　　一位政客抵達一處印第安人居留地向居住在該區被壓迫的原住民表達他的關切之情。他向一群民眾發表演說。

　　"the plight of your tribe has always been close to my heart," said the politician.

　　“我一直切身體會到你們的窮苦困境，”政客說。

　　"umgwalagwala," responded the audience enthusiastically.

　　“安瓜拉瓜拉!”群眾熱烈歡呼。

　　"i shan't rest until greater efforts are made on your behalf."

　　“不為你們爭取更多的福利，我個人絕不會鬆懈。”

　　“ungwalagwala,”they responded more loudly.

　　“安瓜拉瓜拉!”群眾反應更為熱烈。

　　"and i personally guarantee that you will all be accorded full and equal civil rights."

　　“此外我願個人保證你們將被賦予完全及公平的公民權利。”

　　"ungwalagwala," shouted the tribe.

　　“安瓜拉瓜拉!”整個部落的人都叫喊起來。

　　the politician was pleased with his reception and asked for a tour of the reservation. soon, he and his guide were standing next to a fenced enclosure.

　　對這樣的接待，政客感到非常高興，因此他要求遊覽該居留地，不久他和嚮導就走到一處封閉的籬笆圍牆。

　　"and what is this used for?" asked the orator.

　　“這是做什麼用的?”政客問道。

　　"oh, this empty now,but before we keep bulls in here."

　　“喔，現在空無一物，但以前我們在這裡養牛。”

　　"i see," said the visitor,and was planning to enter the enclosure.

　　“原來如此，”政客說著準備進入籬笆內。

　　hey, you better not go in there.you likely step in a lot of umgwalagwala.

　　“嘿，你還是不要進去的好，否則你可能踩到很多的安瓜拉瓜拉。”