幽默風趣英語故事閱讀

  幽默故事,能讓你在信手翻啟間開懷一笑,得到身心的徹底放鬆、心緒的怦然萌動、情感的欣然釋放。下面小編為大家帶來風趣幽默的英語故事四則,歡迎大家閱讀!

  風趣幽默英語故事:寫給上帝的信

  A little boy needed $50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.

  有個小男孩非常需要50美元,他為此禱告了數週但是什麼也沒發生。

  Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $50. When the post office received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President.

  後來,他決定寫封信向上帝索要這50美元。郵局接到這封信,想了想覺得還是應該交給總統比較好。

  The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5.00 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

  總統被逗笑了,於是指示祕書寄給小男孩5美元,因為他覺得5美元對於一個小孩來講已經是不少了。

  The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.

  小男孩收到了錢很高興,給上帝回了一封感謝信,信裡寫道:尊敬的上帝,非常感謝你把錢寄給我。

  However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those turkeys kept $45 in taxes.

  然而,我發現這些錢是通過白宮寄出的,因此,和往常一樣,那幫傢伙收了我45美元的稅。

  風趣幽默英語故事:愛的衣裳

  A mother is going over to son's house,who happened to be just married.She knocks on the door, and her daughter-in-law answers, naked.

  一個母親去剛剛結了婚的兒子家,她敲了敲門,開門的是兒媳婦,她居然沒有穿任何衣服!

  The mother is shocked, and goes,quot;Why are you walking around the house naked?"The new wife replies, "Well, this is my love dress,and when I wear this dress, my husband get's really excited."

  婆婆很吃驚地說,“你幹嗎光著身子在屋裡走啊?”新媳婦回答,“哦,我穿的是愛的衣裳,每次我一穿這衣服,我老公就會變得很激動。”

  The mother ponders over this for a while, then goes home.After a little more thinking,the mother decides to try it on her husband when he gets home.So when her husband knocks on the door, she answers it, naked.

  婆婆沉吟了一會兒就回家了。她又想了一陣,決定在自己老公回家時,也用這一招試試他。於是,當她老公敲門時,她也光著身子去應門。

  The husband looks her up and down.Then he asks, "Why in the world are you walking around the house naked?!"So the mother explains, "This is my love dress."

  老頭上上下下地打量了她一番,說,“你到底是在幹嗎,光著身子在屋裡走來走去?!”老太婆回答,“這是一件愛的衣裳啊。”

  The husband looks shocked, and then replies,quot;Well, it needs to be ironed!"

  老頭看起來很震驚,然後說道,“哦,那你這件衣服實在是該熨一熨了。”

  風趣幽默英語故事:在天堂結婚

  A young couple was on their way to get married when they had an accident and died.

  一對年輕的夫婦在去結婚的路上出了車禍,雙雙死去了。

  Now they were in front of St. Peter and the young lady asked if they could get married. St. Peter told them, he would have to get back to them with an answer.

  於是,他們來到了聖徒彼得面前,妻子問是否她還可以和丈夫結婚,聖徒彼得告訴他們,關於這個問題他一有了結果就會回來找他們。

  Around 30 days later St. Peter returns and tells the couple that they can get married in heaven.

  差不多30天以後,聖徒彼得回來了,並且告訴他們可以在天堂結婚。

  The young lady then asks St. Peter, “If things just don't work out can we get a divorce?" St.Peter looks at her and replies, " Lady it took me 30 days to find a preacher up here do you really think I am going to find a lawyer?!!"

  妻子又問:“如果生活的不愉快,我們可不可以離婚呢?”聖徒彼得看著她,回答說:“夫人,我花了30天才找到個傳教士,難道你真的希望我再去找個律師嗎?”

  風趣幽默英語故事:智力缺陷

  "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked ..."how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied.

  “醫生,你能不能告訴我,”鮑勃問,“對於一個看上去很正常的人,你是怎樣判斷出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再沒有比這容易的了,”醫生回答,

  "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." " Well, What sort of question?"

  “問他一個簡單的問題,簡單到所有人都知道答案,如果他回答得不乾脆,那你就知道是怎麼回事了。”“那要問什麼樣的問題呢?”

  "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them.

  “嗯,你可以這樣問,‘庫克船長環球旅行了三次,但是在其中一次的途中他去世了,

  Which one?' Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

  是哪一次呢?’”鮑勃想了一會兒,緊張的回答道,“你就不能問另外一個問題嗎?坦率地說,我對歷史瞭解的不是很多。”