外國最新幽默笑話閱讀

  笑話是一種增強快樂的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情節簡單,文筆巧妙的形式出現,給人以出乎意料,並且取得笑意的藝術效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我們也需要偶爾的放鬆一下自己。下面小編為大家帶來外國最新幽默笑話,希望大家喜歡!

  外國最新幽默笑話:疼痛之極

  A construction worker was rushed to the hospital after cutting himself badly. The doctor told the nurse to prepare a painkiller. "Don’t bother Doctor," said the man. "I' ve been through a lot worse."

  一個傷痕累累的建築工人衝進了一家醫院,醫生馬上讓護士去拿止痛藥,“不必麻煩您了,醫生。”那人說道,“比這更痛的傷我都經歷過了。”

  "More painful than this?" the doctor asked.

  “比現在的傷還要痛嗎?”醫生問。

  "I’11 tell you about the second most painful accident I ever had. I was hunting one day and had to take a shit so I dropped my pants and squatted. I tripped a bear trap and BOOM,the thing snapped shut on my balls."

  “我先說說讓我感到還不是最痛苦的那件事吧,一天我在打獵的時候突然想要大便,於是就脫掉褲子蹲在地上,不料被捕熊的夾子絆倒了,那東西夾住了我的皋丸。”

  The doctor winced, "That’s awful. But tell me, what could be worse?"

  醫生聽後顫抖了一下,說道“太可怕了,那告訴我什麼又是最痛苦的事呢?”

  "When I reached the end of the chain."

  “當我摸到鎖鏈盡端的時候。”

  外國最新幽默笑話:與上帝為伍

  A farmer purchases an old,run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds,the farmhouse is falling apart,and the fences are collapsing all around.

  一個農民買了一塊破舊荒廢的農場,他準備把這塊農場變成興旺的園林。然而目前這塊地是雜草叢生,房屋破舊不堪,四周的籬笆也是東倒西歪。

  During his first day of work,the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work,saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”

  在他第一天工作的時候,城裡的一個傳教士給他送去了祝福:“願上帝與你一起實現你的夢想吧!”

  A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. I}ok and behold,it’s like a completely different place-the farmhouse is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition,there are plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens,and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.

  幾個月以後,那個傳教士又一次來到農場,快看那,這裡與上次相比簡直是天壤之別。房屋重新修好了,條件也比以前好多了,成群的牛羊在歡快地吃著青草,地裡的莊稼也整整齊齊的排列著。

  "Amazing!” the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"

  “太神奇了”,傳教士驚呼道:“看那,上帝和你一起實現了你的夢想!”

  "Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"

  “沒錯,教士,”那個農民說道:“可你也要記住當初這個農場只由上帝一人支配的時候是個什麼樣子!”

  外國最新幽默笑話:教育階段

  The dean of Engineering had once walked into a class, and said "Good Morning.”

  一天工程系的主任走進一個班,說道:“早上好。”

  The whole class chorused" Good Morning”

  全班齊聲回覆:“早上好。”

  "Hi,you are freshmen aren’t you?" he asked.

  “你們是大一的吧?”主任問道。

  One student bolder than the others asked him how he knew.

  一個膽子比較大的同學問主任是怎麼知道的。

  "Well,”he said. "When I say‘Good Morning' to a class,if they are freshmen they say Good Morning' too. If they are sophomores,they quietly fold their papers away,and look at me. A class of juniors will look at me over the top of their papers, and then get back to them. A class of seniors will ignore my greeting, and keep reading the papers. When I say `Good Morning' to a class of graduate students, they write it down.”

  “嗯,”主任說,“如果是大一的新生,當我向他們問早上好的時候,他們也一定會說‘早上好’的。如果他們是大二的學生,他們會輕輕地合上課本,然後集體望著我。大三的學生則會從書本上抬起頭看我一眼,然後馬上又繼續讀書了。大四的學生則會對我視而不見,繼續看書。至於研究生班的學生,我向他們問早上好,他們就會把這句話寫在筆記上。”

  外國最新幽默笑話:荒誕哲學

  "God is Dead.” –Nietzsche

  尼采說:“上帝死了。”

  "Nietzsche is dead. " –God

  上帝說:“尼采死了。”

  "Therefore, Nietzsche is God. "-Plato

  柏拉圖說:“這樣看來,尼采就是上帝。”