外國最新幽默故事三則

　　笑話是一種增強快樂的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情節簡單，文筆巧妙的形式出現，給人以出乎意料，並且取得笑意的藝術效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我們也需要偶爾的放鬆一下自己。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　外國最新幽默故事：狡猾的惡棍

　　Joe Blow the aspiring young executive was late for an appointment and in the process of doubling the speed limit in his BMW when a VW beetle pulled out in front of him. He could not slow down fast enough and slammed into the beetle.

　　喬勃，這個年輕有為的總經理為了能準時赴約，以超過限速兩倍的速度駕駛著他的那輛寶馬車，這時前面的一輛大眾甲殼蟲汽車突然停了下來。因為喬勃的車速太快根本無法及時剎車，於是一下子撞到了甲殼蟲的後面。

　　Surprisingly, the BMW was totaled while the beetle was in good shape. The driver of the compact was amused at the condition of the two cars.

　　更讓人費解的是，只有他的寶馬車被撞壞了，而那輛甲殼蟲卻安然無恙。那輛車的司機也為此感到很驚訝。

　　The executive was so enraged that he had a hard time keeping from attacking the driver of the VW. The executive drew a large circle on the ground off to one side. He said, "You get in that circle and stay there, or I’m going to beat the shit out of you!” The executive got a tire iron out of his trunk and smashed the windshield of the beetle. The man in the circle just smiled. The executive just got madder and madder. He smashed the headlights and taillights. When he looked back, the other man was snickering to himself. This so infuriated the executive that he smashed in the hood of the beetle. The other man was laughing so hard that he could barely stand up.

　　年輕的經理怒髮衝冠，極力地壓制著要揍那個司機一頓的衝動。他走下車在路邊畫了一個很大的圈，然後說:“你給我走到圈子裡來並呆在那裡，否則我要你好看!”說著他從後備箱裡拿出一個輪胎鐵心，然後用力將甲殼蟲的擋風玻璃砸得粉碎。站在圈裡的那個人只是笑了笑。喬勃快要被氣瘋了。他又砸碎了甲殼蟲的前燈和尾燈。可當他回頭看時，那一個人還在那裡暗笑。他又一次被激怒了，這次他把甲殼蟲的車棚也給砸了。此刻那一個人笑得都直不起腰了。

　　Unable to stand any more, the frustrated executive tromped away. About this time a fellow in a pick up truck pulled up and offered the VW driver a ride. "What are you laughing about? He just trashed your car.” "Well"，the other man said，" but I have gone out of that circle three times.”

　　喬勃再也受不了了，憤憤地離開了。這時一個拖車司機過來讓那個甲殼蟲司機搭便車，並問他:“剛才他在砸你的車你怎麼還笑呀?”“是呀，”另一個人回答說:“可是我剛才曾經三次偷偷地溜出了圈子!”

　　外國最新幽默故事：拼字比賽

　　A student at the National Spelling Bee had been given a particularly difficult word to spell. Apparently having some trouble knowing how to start, the student asked if he could buy a vowel.

　　一個學生在全國拼詞比賽上遇到了一個極難拼寫的詞。顯然他是不知該從何下手了，於是這個學生便詢問能不能買一個母音字母。

　　外國最新幽默故事：發生在院子裡的怪事

　　A woman with a broken ankle was gingerly hobbling along on crutches as she attempted to walk her dog. Because of her handicap, however, she was having a lot oftrouble keeping the dog under control. Finally, the dog lunged forward, the leash slipped out of her hand, and the dog went running down the street. She called and called, but the dog wouldn't come back. Since she couldn’t chase after it, she eventually gave up and went home.

　　一個跛腳的女人手裡拄著一根柺杖，跟在她的狗後面一瘸一拐地往前走。因為她的腿腳不方便所以很難控制住她的狗，這時牽著狗的鏈子從這個女人手中脫落了，這條狗沿著馬路跑了下去。不管她喊什麼，這條狗都不理睬，她也知道自己根本不可能追上，於是她也就放棄了努力，獨自一人回家了。

　　A couple of hours later she heard something scratching at the door. When she went to the door she found her dog standing there with a dead rabbit in its mouth. Upon closer inspection, she realized it was the neighbors' pet rabbit. She knewshe would never be able to tell them what happened, and since they were out of town for the weekend，she hit upon a plan.

　　幾個小時後她聽到有什麼東西在敲門的聲音。開啟門一看，她的那隻狗正站在門外，嘴裡還叼著一隻死兔子。仔細一看，正是在鄰居家養的那隻兔子。她知道決不能讓那家人知道這件事。因

　　為，他們都出城度週末去了，於是她想出了一個好主意。

　　She took the rabbit into the bathroom, washed it off, and blew its fur dry. Then she took the rabbit back to the neighbors’backyard and put the rabbit back in its cage. She thought the neighbors would discover the rabbit dead and think it died in the cage. They would never suspect what really happened.

　　她把死兔子放進浴缸裡洗乾淨，用吹風機把它身上的毛吹乾，然後又把它重新放回鄰居後院的兔籠裡。她想鄰居回來以後一定會認為兔子是自己死在籠子裡的，決不會想到這裡發生的一切。

　　On Monday，there was a knock at the door, and when she answered，there was her neighbor standing there. He asked her if she had seen anyone in their backyard over the weekend. She said no. He said, "Did you see anything strange going on around our house or yard?" Again, she denied seeing anything suspicious. She said，"Why are you asking me these questions? What happened?" He said，"Well，something really strange is going on inmy backyard. On Friday our rabbit died, so we buried it in the backyard. But when we came back from the weekend，it was back in the cage !”

　　星期一的早上，這個女人的鄰居敲開了她的房門。他問這個女人在週末有沒有看到什麼人去過他家的後院。女人回答說沒有。“那你有沒有看到什麼奇怪的事情發生在房中或者院子裡?”這個女人仍回答沒有。然後她問:“為什麼你要問我這些問題?發生什麼事了?”那個鄰居回答:“我家的後院出了件怪事。上週五我家的兔子死了，我們把它埋在後院裡，可是當我們度完週末回到家後，卻發現它又重新回到籠子裡了。”