簡短爆笑的英語笑話摘抄大全
笑話大多揭示生活中乖謬的現象,具有諷刺性和娛樂性。小編整理了簡短爆笑的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
簡短爆笑的英語笑話篇一
你能不能多支援我一點?
The delighted young politician called his mother and reported enthusiastically,
一位年輕的政客打電話給他母親，高興地說道：
"Hey, Mom, I just won the election! "
“嘿，媽，我剛贏得這次的選舉呢!”
"Honestly, dear?" exclaimed his mother.
“你沒在騙我吧，親愛的?”他的媽媽驚叫。
" Aw, Jeez, Mom, do you have to bring up something like that at a time like this?"
“喔，媽!在這種時刻你還要提出像這樣的問題嗎?***你這時還不相信我嗎/你還以為我是政客的虛假作風嗎?***不相信我嗎?”
簡短爆笑的英語笑話篇二
臨時改變主意
Frank and Fred had received their draft notices on the same day, and neither wanted to enter the army.
法蘭克和佛烈德兩人同一天收到召集令，兩人都不想去服兵役。
But Frank had heard that the army would not accept anyone without teeth, so they both had all their teeth pulled.
但法蘭克曾經聽人說軍中不收沒有牙齒的人，因此他們兩人都把所有的牙齒給拔掉了。
On the day of their medical exam, Frank and Fred got in line, but a huge, hairy, smelly truck driver cut in between them.
在體格檢查那天，他們兩人排在同一排隊伍，可是有一個大塊頭、滿身毛髮而且臭味難當的卡車司機插在他們中間。
As Frank got up to the head of the line, he announced to the inspecting sergeant that he had no teeth.
當法蘭克排到隊伍的前頭時，他對檢查的班長說他沒有牙齒，
The sergeant had Frank open his mouth, ran his forefinger over the raw gums and said,
那名士官要他張開嘴巴，接著用食指在他紅腫的牙齦繞了一圈後說道：
"Sure enough, you don’t. You’re rejected. "
“沒錯，你沒牙齒，不用當兵!”
Turning to the truck driver, he asked, 'What's your problem?"
接著輪到卡車司機，士官說：“你有什麼問題嗎?”
The trucker said, "I've got a tremendous case of the piles."
卡車司機說道：“我患有嚴重的痔瘡。”
The sergeant had the fellow bend over, inserted his fore finger and rotated it around thoroughly,
班長要那個傢伙彎下身去，用他的食指在肛門轉了一整圈後說道：
"Sure enough, you've got a bad case. Rejected!"
“沒錯，你的情形很嚴重，不合格!”
Turning to Fred, the sergeant demanded, "And what's your problem?"
再輪到佛烈德時，班長又問：“那你的問題是什麼?”
Staring at the forefinger, Fred replied, "Nothing at all, sergeant, nothing at all. "
凝視著他的食指，佛烈德答道：“沒什麼問題，班長，我一點問題也沒有。”
簡短爆笑的英語笑話篇三
完美解決之道
President Shrub was flying over the U. S. with his staff.
史拉伯總統和他的幕僚正搭機橫越美國上空。
Suddenly he got a brilliant inspiration:
忽然間他心中突發奇想，
"You know, I think I'll just throw a fifty-dollar bill out the window and make somebody happy. "
“我想由視窗扔一張五十元美鈔下去，讓某個人高興一下。”
"Mr.President,why don't you throw out five ten-dollar bills and make five people happy?"
“總統先生，您為什麼不丟五張十元的鈔票讓五個人高興呢?”
suggested his celebrated Secretary of State Vice President Partridge caught on.
著名的國務卿建議道。
“Golly,Mr.President, why don't you throw fifty singles and make fifty people happy?"
副總統派翠基接著說：“啊，總統先生，您為什麼不丟五十張一元鈔票，好讓五十個人高興呢?”
The pilot turned around and said, "Why don’t you just throw yourself out the window and make everybody happy?"
這時飛機駕駛員轉身說道：“為什麼你不把自己丟出窗外，好讓每個人都高興呢?”