關於爆笑英文小笑話大全笑死人

　　笑話由於其滑稽可笑的特點而為人們長久以來所喜愛。而人們對笑話的熱衷與喜愛也促使人們在開懷捧腹的同時對笑話為何能夠使人發笑這一問題進行思考。本文是關於爆笑英文小笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　關於爆笑英文小笑話：The Interview

　　The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists: two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

　　"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her."

　　The first man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."

　　The agent replies, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

　　The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

　　The agent replies, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

　　Finally, it was the woman's turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."

　　關於爆笑英文小笑話：Last Request

　　Father O'Grady was saying his good-byes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.

　　"What's bothering you, dear?" asked Farther O'Grady.

　　"Oh, father, I've got terrible news." Replied Mary. "My husband passed away last night."

　　"Oh, Mary!" said the good father. "That's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

　　"Yes...," Mary replied sheepishly.

　　"Well?"

　　"He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun.'"

　　關於爆笑英文小笑話：Fresh Marriage Breakfest

　　Not long after their wedding, Scott and Tracy awoke early one morning. The couple had been up for quite a while before they met up in the kitchen. Marriage was agreeing with Scott, and he greeted his new wife with glee and excitation that morning. "If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said Tracy, the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready." "Great! What are we having for breakfast?" asked Scott. "Toast and juice," replied Tracy.

　　關於爆笑英文小笑話：Why Men Can't Win

　　If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.

　　If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

　　If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.

　　If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

　　If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.

　　If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

　　If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.

　　If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

　　If you cry, you're a wimp.

　　If you don't, you're insensitive.

　　If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you bastard.

　　If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

　　If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.

　　If she asks you, it's a favor.

　　If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.

　　If you don't, you're a slob.

　　If you buy her flowers, you're after something.

　　If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

　　If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.

　　If you're not, you're not ambitious.

　　If she has a headache, she's tired.

　　If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.

　　關於爆笑英文小笑話：Back to the Honeymoon

　　A couple married thirty years were revisiting the same places they went to on theirhoneymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running

　　along the road.

　　The woman said,

　　"Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we did here thirty years ago."

　　The guy stopped the car. His wife backed against the fence, and they made love like never before.

　　Back in the car, the guy says, "Darling, you sure never moved like That thirty years ago, or any time since that I can remember!"

　　The woman says, "thirty years ago that fence wasn't electrified!"