讓人笑到不行的英文笑話
笑話之熱與冷 ,區別在於其引人發笑的程度與形態:熱笑話易於在瞬間引爆笑聲;冷笑話則不會引爆笑聲,最多隻是令人會心一笑。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!
篇一
Look at My Socks 瞧瞧我的襪子
“Say, that’s an interesting pair of socks you’ve got on, Charlie, one green and one red.”
“嘿，查理，你穿的這雙襪子真有趣，一隻綠色一隻紅色。”
“Yeah, and I’ve got another pair just like it at home.”
“是嗎，我家裡還有一雙同樣的襪子呢。”
篇二
Make a Wish 許個願吧!
Every morning on his way to work, a businessman passed a house where he saw a woman beating her boy on the head with a loaf of bread. But on this particular day, he noticed that she was hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake.
每天早晨一位商人在上班途中都會經過一戶人家，他總是看見一個女人用一條麵包打她兒子的頭部。但今天卻比較特別，他發現她正用一塊巧克力蛋糕打他的頭。
Unable to restrain his curiosity, he rang the doorbell and the woman answered.
他忍不住好奇，便按了那戶人家的門鈴。女人聽了鈴聲，出來開門。
“Madam, I couldn’t help but notice that every day you beat your child with a loaf of bread...”
“這位太太，每天經過這裡我都忍不住會注意到你用一條麵包打你兒子……”
“That’s true...”
“那倒是不假……”
“And yet today I observed that you were hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake.”
“可是今天我卻看見你用一塊巧克力蛋糕打他。”
“Well, today’s his birthday.”
“今天是他生日嘛。”
篇三
A Remarkable Talent 一位了不起的天才
“Did you know I could tell time by the piano?” asked one friend of another .
“你相信我可以由鋼琴知道現在幾點鐘嗎?”一位老兄向他的朋友問道。
“You’re kidding,” replied his companion dubiously.
“別開玩笑了!”他的朋友懷疑地回答。
“I’ll show you,” said the first man as sat down at the piano and started to hammer out a martial tune.
“那我試給你看，”說著那位老兄就坐在鋼琴前開始彈起一首進行曲。
Within seconds came a pounding on the wall, and an angry voice shouting, “Hey, you son of a bitch, don’t you realize it’s three o’clock in the morning?”
幾秒鐘後牆壁傳來捶打聲，一個憤怒的聲音叫道“：嘿!***的，你知不知道現在是凌晨三點鐘?”
篇四
A Precocious Child 一個早熟的小孩
When the door-to-door salesman rang the doorbell of the suburban home, he was taken aback when a 10-year-old boy opened the door smoking a big cigar.
當挨家挨戶兜售東西的推銷員按了一幢郊區房子的門鈴後，他嚇了一跳，開門的竟是一位嘴裡叼著一根大雪茄的十歲男孩。
The salesman could only stammer out, “Er, is your mother at home?”
推銷員結結巴巴地問道“，哦，你媽媽在家嗎?”
Answered the boy, “What do you think?”
小男孩回答說“，你認為呢?”
篇五
City Suckers 城裡來的傻瓜
Two city folk were on a drive in the country, but got completely. Pulling over next to an old farmer, they asked him if he knew the way back to the city.
兩個城市裡的老兄在一條鄉間小道上開車迷了路，他們把車停靠一位老農夫旁邊，問他知不知道回城裡的路。
“Nope. Can’t say that I do, ” replied the old hayseed.
“不，我不知道，”老農夫答道。
“Well, can you tell us how to get back to the main highway?”
“那你知道回到主要公路要怎麼走嗎?”
“Nope. Don’t know that, either.”
“不，我也不知道。”
“Well, you sure don’t know much, do you?”
喔，你好像不太熟悉這裡的路況，是嗎?”
“Could be... But I ain’t lost, neither.”
“可以這麼說， 可是我也不會迷路。”
篇六
True Dedication 好投入啊!
Mrs. Fortesque was getting more and more worried. Her husband had left for a round of golf early in the morning and by mid-afternoon he still wasn’t home. Evening came and Mr. Fortesque still hadn’t returned.
福特斯克太太越來越擔心，因為她先生一早出去打高爾夫球，到下午三四點都還沒回家，甚至到傍晚也還不見人影。
The lady was just about to call the police when she heard her husband’s car pulling into the driveway. Rushing outside, she told her husband, “Darling, I was so worried about you. What kept you?”
福特斯克太太正要打電話報警就聽到她先生開車回來了。她衝出門外，向她先生說道“：親愛的，我一整天都在擔心你，是什麼事把你耽擱了?”
“Charlie had a heart attack on the fourth hole.”
“查理在第四洞時心臟病發作。”
“Oh, my goodness, that’s terrible!”
“喔，天哪，真可怕!”
“You’re telling me! All day long it was shoot the ball, drag Charlie, shoot the ball, drag Charlie...”
“那還用你說嗎!一整天我都一邊打球，一邊拉查理，一會兒”打球，一會兒拖查理，……