讓人狂笑不已的英文笑話

　　笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Half or Five Tenths 半個還是十分之五

　　Teacher: Would1 you rather2 have one half of an orange or five tenths3?

　　Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.

　　Teacher: Think carefully4, and tell me why.

　　Gerald: Because you lose5 too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.

　　老師：你願意要半個柑橘，還是十分之五個柑橘?

　　傑拉得：我寧可要半個。

　　老師：仔細想想，說出理由來。

　　傑拉得：因為你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就損失太多了。

　　篇二

　　Get to the hospital 醫院要怎麼走

　　An absent-minded person was standing1 in the middle of a busy intersection2 where a policeman was directing traffic, and he kept bugging3 the policeman because he was confused.

　　"Excuse me, Officer! Can you tell me how to get to the hospital?"

　　The officer was very busy and said, "Just stand here and you'll get there!"

　　有個很健忘的人站在車水馬龍的十字路口正中央，那裡有個警察正忙著指揮交通，而他不斷地去幹擾這位值勤的警員，因為他搞不清楚方向。

　　他問道：“請問一下，警察先生，可以告訴我醫院要怎麼走嗎?”

　　這個忙不過來的警察對他說：“就站在這裡，你就會到醫院了!”

　　篇三

　　I'm the Devil 魔鬼的妹夫

　　A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided1 to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept2 him on the way home.

　　When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.

　　"Who are you?" he asked.

　　"I'm the Devil!" she responded.

　　"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"

　　一位婦人發現丈夫回家的時候總是爛醉如泥，她決定為丈夫治好這個毛病。一個萬聖節夜裡，她穿上一套魔鬼戲服，躲在樹後，準備在丈夫返家時攔截他的去路。

　　當丈夫走近時，她從樹後跳出來，站到他面前，頭上帶著紅色的羊角、身後有長長的尾巴，手中握著鋼叉。

　　“你是誰?”丈夫問到。

　　“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。

　　“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫說，“我娶了你的妹妹!”

　　篇四

　　One Engine Left

　　A 747 was halfway1 across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result."

　　Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."

　　At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"

　　一架747客機正在跨越大西洋時，喇叭裡傳來了機長的聲音：“旅客們請注意，我們的四個引擎中有一個丟失了。但剩下的三個引擎會把我們帶到倫敦的。只是我們要因此晚到一小時。”

　　過了一會兒，旅客們又聽到機長的聲音：“各位，你們猜怎麼啦?我們剛又掉了第三個引擎。但請你們相信好了。只有一個引擎我們也能飛，但要晚三個小時了。”

　　正在這時，一位乘客非常氣憤地說：“看在上帝的份上，如果我們再掉一個引擎，我們整夜都要待在天上了。”