爆笑死人英語笑話大全

　　在民間文學的各種體裁中 ,民間笑話的材料很多 ,也是時下最為流行的民間敘事型別。小編精心收集了爆笑死人英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　爆笑死人英語笑話篇1

　　Satan Himself

　　One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc.

　　Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared at the front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

　　Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

　　The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

　　Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"

　　"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

　　Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

　　The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

　　爆笑死人英語笑話篇2

　　Letter from God

　　One day God was looking down to earth and saw all the evil going on. He decided to send an angel down to earth to check it out. So, he called on a female angel and sent her to earth for a time. When she returned she told God yes, it is bad on earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good.

　　Well, He thought for a moment and said maybe I had better send down a male angel, to get both points of view. So, God called a male angel and sent him to earth for a time. When the male angel returned, he went to God and told him yes, the earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good.

　　God said this was not good. He would send a letter to the 5% that was good and encourage them, something to help them keep going. Do you know what that letter said?

　　Oh, you didn't get one either?

　　爆笑死人英語笑話篇3

　　Pray for me

　　One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.

　　Just before leaving the safety of the foyer the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"

　　爆笑死人英語笑話篇4

　　Last Rites

　　The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night.

　　Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"

　　The dying man said nothing so the priest repeated his order.

　　Still the dying man said nothing.

　　The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"

　　The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravateanybody."

　　爆笑死人英語笑話篇5

　　Office prayer

　　Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

　　AMEN!