關於英語笑話不帶翻譯

　　民間笑話故事像神話小說等民間文學一樣，是廣大勞動人民在長期的生產勞動和與自然界作鬥爭的過程中，以口頭形式創作和傳承的文學體裁。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Animal Complaints

　　It seems that God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot. They were an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen.

　　The elephant complained, "Lord, I HATE THIS TRUNK YOU have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a fool!"

　　The Lord said, "Don't complain. It lets you pick up food, drink water, etc. without getting wet!"

　　Next the giraffe complained, "Lord, I HATE THIS LONG NECK! It makes me top heavy, I get terrible neck pains, and people laugh at me!"

　　The Lord said, "Don't complain. It lets you pick the best fruit and leaves from the high branches, and allows you to see a distance."

　　The hen spoke up, "Lord, I don't want to complain, but either let me have a bigger hole or smaller eggs."

　　：The Baby Stork

　　Two storks are sitting in their nest - a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying so the father stork is trying to calm him.

　　"Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."

　　The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, and the baby stork is crying again. The mother says,

　　"Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."

　　A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate because their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night.

　　The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

　　：The Smartest Dog Ever

　　As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."

　　Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trotacross the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.

　　As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" button, then the butcher follows him off.

　　The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing and pummeling the dog.

　　The butcher runs up screams at the guy: "What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!"

　　The owner responds, "Genius, my ass. It's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"

　　：Blind Bunny

　　One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop!, right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see."

　　"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"

　　Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."

　　So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose... You must be a bunny rabbit!"

　　Then he said, "I can't thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal are you?"

　　And the snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when he was finished, the snake said, "Well, what kind of an animal am I?"

　　So the bunny felt the snake all over, and he replied, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy and you haven't got any balls... You must be a lawyer."

　　：The Ant Hill

　　Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, hedecided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot.

　　So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle.

　　Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?"

　　Said the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."