關於短篇的英語笑話大全笑死人

　　冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現象，越來越受到大家的關注，尤其在網路、雜誌、微博、電影上十分盛行。冷笑話不同於一般的笑話，以其獨特的制笑機制，能瞬間製造出一種特殊氛圍。小編整理了關於短篇的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　關於短篇的英語笑話：One real man 一個真正的男子漢

　　The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domainwere ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely***嚴格地，嚴厲地***.

　　Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel***勸告，建議*** to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.

　　It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell thesechickenhearted***膽小的*** dunces***傻瓜*** why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.

　　Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.

　　一個真正的男子漢

　　古代有一個國王，他想證明他領土內的男人並非像人們傳說的那樣，受到老婆的管制。他把王國裡所有的男人都召到跟前，警告說，哪個男人膽敢不說實話，就會受到嚴厲的懲罰。

　　然後，他叫所有聽從妻子的命令和意見的男人都走向大廳的左側。所有的男人都站到了左側，只有一個小個子男人站到了右側。

　　國王說：看到我們國家裡還有一個真正的男子漢，真是令人高興。告訴這些膽小的笨蛋，為什麼在他們當中只有你一個人站在大廳的右側。

　　陛下，那人尖聲地回答：因為在我出門之前，我老婆告訴我不要扎堆。

　　關於短篇的英語笑話：Doctor Swift and the boy 斯威夫特博士與小廝

　　A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr. Swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant. Dr. Swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble. One day as Swift was busy with his writing, the boy rushed into his room, knocked some books out of their place, threw his parcel on the desk and said, my mistress has sent you two of her rabbits.

　　Swift turned round and said, My boy, that is not the way to deliver your parcel***包裹*** . Now, you sit in my chair, watch my way of doing it and learn your lesson.

　　The boy sat down. Swift went out, knocked on his door and waited. The boy said, Come in. The doctor entered, walked to his desk and said, If you please sir, my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in her fields.

　　The boy answered, Thank you, my boy, Give your mistress and her son my thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself.

　　The Doctor laughed, and after that, Swift never forgot to give the boy his tip.

　　斯威夫特博士與小廝

　　在斯威夫特博士家附近，有一位富有的老婦人，她時常打發僕人給他送禮物。斯威夫特博士接受她的禮物，但從不給小廝任何酬謝。一天，斯威夫特博士正忙著寫東西，小廝衝進了他的房間，把書一扒拉，將一個包裹扔在書桌上，說道：我的女主人送給你兩隻兔子。

　　斯威夫特轉過身來說：孩子，包裹可不是這樣送法呀。現在，你坐在我的椅子上，看看我是怎麼送的，並要記取這個教訓。

　　小廝坐了下來，斯威夫特走出去，敲了敲門，等待迴音。小廝說進來。博士進了門，走到桌旁說道：先生，我的女主人向您致以親切的問候，並希望您收下這些兔子，這是她兒子今天早晨在地裡打的。

　　小廝回答說：謝謝你，我的孩子。向你的女主人和她的兒子致謝，謝謝他們的關心。這兩個先令是送給你本人的。

　　博士笑了，打那以後，斯威夫特從沒忘記送小費給小廝。

　　關於短篇的英語笑話：Clean Glass 乾淨的杯子

　　Joe and Fred were helping to build a house in a village. The weather was very warm, there was a lot of dust everywhere, and by half past twelve, they were very thirsty, so they stopped work to have their lunch. They found the nearest small bar, went in and sat down with their sandwiches.

　　Good afternoon, gentlemen. What can I get you? The man behind the bar asked.

　　Joe looked at Fred and said, Beer, I think. Yes, a pint of beer each. Is that all right for you, Fred?

　　Yes, that's all right. Fred said. Then he turned to the man behind the bar and said, And I want it in a clean glass! Don't forget that.

　　The man behind the bar filled the glasses and brought them to Joe and Fred. Then he said. Which of you asked for the clean glass?

　　乾淨的杯子

　　喬和佛瑞德在一個村子裡幫忙蓋一間房子。天氣很暖和，到處都有許多灰塵。12點半的時候，他們覺得非常口渴，便停下來去吃午飯了。他們找到最近的一家酒吧，走進去坐下吃他們的三明治。

　　下午好，先生。你們想要點什麼?櫃檯後面的伺應問道。

　　喬看佛瑞德說：我想，啤酒吧。好，那就每人一品脫啤酒。這樣可以嗎，佛瑞德?

　　好的，可以。佛瑞德說。然後他轉過去跟櫃檯後面的侍應說：我要啤酒裝在一個乾淨的杯子裡!別忘了。

　　櫃檯後面的侍應倒滿杯子後，拿給喬和佛瑞德，接著說：剛才哪一位要乾淨的杯子的?

　　關於短篇的英語笑話：Paddy

　　There was a small boy who had been given a little terrier for his very own, on which hebestowed the name of Paddy, and loved mightily. He was very saddened by the fact that he could not take his pet away with him on his holidays, which he was spending with some relatives in the country.

　　Whilst he was away Paddy's young life was cut short by an unfortunate adventure with a motor. The boy's mother feared he would take the news very hardly on his return,she broke it very gently,therefore, and was rather surprised that the little lad did not seem much perturbed. Later, however, she heard him weeping lustily in his bed. He was inarticulate with grief, but his brother explained that he was cryingabout Paddy.

　　But, said the mother, I told him about it this morning, and he did not seem to mind!

　　The brother explained, yes, but he thought you said Daddy.

　　帕蒂

　　從前有一個小男孩，他得到了一條完全屬於他自己的小獵狗。他給小狗取名帕蒂，對它寵愛萬分。他要到鄉下一些親戚家去度假，可又不能帶上他的寵物，為此他很傷心。

　　他不在家的時候，帕蒂在一次不幸的車禍中失去了年輕的生命。男孩的母親怕他回家時聽到這個訊息太難過;因此她相當小心地把這個訊息透露給他，而頗為令人驚訝的是小夥子看起來並不怎麼在意。可是，後來她聽見他在床上哭得死去活來。他傷心得說不出話來，但是他的哥哥解釋說他在為帕蒂痛哭。

　　可是，這位母親說：我今天早晨告訴他了，他好像根本不在乎啊!

　　他哥哥解釋說：是的，可他以為你說的是爸爸。