關於短篇兒童英語笑話

　　笑話一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一種民間口頭創作形式,在民間文化中以口口相傳的形式傳播。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：The pet parrot

　　A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home. She decidedshe would like to find a beautiful parrot; it wouldn't be as much work as say a dog, and it would be fun to hear it speak.

　　She went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. She went to the owner of the store and asked how much. The owner said it was $50.

　　Delighted that such a rare looking and beautiful bird wasn't more expensive, she agreed to buy it. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a whorehouse. Sometimes it says pretty vulgar stuff."

　　The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird. She said she would buy it anyway. The petshop owner sold her the bird and she took it home. She hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."

　　The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad."

　　A couple hours later, the woman's two teenage daughters returned from school. When they inspected the bird, it looked at them and said, "New house, new madam, new whores."

　　The girls and the woman were a bit offended at first, but then began to laugh about the situation. A couple of hours later, the woman's husband came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "New house, new madam, new whores. Hi George!"

　　：How To Deal with a Doberman

　　A highly timid little man, Casper Milquetoast, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, 'Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?'

　　A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, 'It's my dog. Why?'

　　'Well,' squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, 'I believe my dog just killed it, sir.'

　　'What?' roared the big man in disbelief. 'What in the hell kind of dog do you have?'

　　'Sir,' answered the little man, 'It's a four week old puppy.'

　　'Bull!' roared the biker, 'How could your puppy kill my Doberman?'

　　'It appears that he choked on it, sir.'

　　：He is a very smart dog

　　He is a very smart dog

　　I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.

　　"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the film."

　　The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."

　　：There was just a dog fight

　　A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?"

　　"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"

　　"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..."

　　"What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?"

　　"Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"

　　：The plumber has arrived

　　A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o'clock. Ten o'clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, one o'clock; no plumber.

　　She concluded he wasn't coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was out, the plumber arrived.

　　He knocked on the door; the lady's parrot, who was at home in a cage by the door, said, "Who is it?"

　　He replied, "It's the plumber."

　　He thought it was the lady who'd said, "Who is it?" and waited for her to come and let him in. When this didn't happen he knocked again, and again the parrot said, "Who is it?"

　　He said, "It's the plumber!"

　　He waited, and again the lady didn't come to let him in. He knocked again, and again the parrot said, "Who is it?"

　　He said, "It's the plumber!!!!!!!!"

　　Again he waited; again she didn't come; again he knocked; again the parrot said, "Who is it?"; "Aarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!" he said, flying into a rage; he pushed the door in and ripped it off its hinges. He suffered a heart attack and he fell dead in the doorway.

　　The lady came home from her errands, only to see the door ripped off its hinges and a corpse lying in the doorway, "A dead body!" she exclaimed, "Who is it?!"

　　The parrot said, "It's the plumber."