關於爆笑的英語笑話全集

　　笑話是日常生活中常見的一種幽默。與一般日常會話不同,笑話刻意違反合作原則,由此衍生出會話含意,並利用會話含意之間的衝突實現其預定功能。小編分享關於爆笑的英語笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　關於爆笑的英語笑話：Brain transplant

　　"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles.

　　"My dear woman," Darrow replied, "ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question."

　　關於爆笑的英語笑話：Want to go into space?

　　NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn?t return to Earth.

　　The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."

　　The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

　　The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer?s ear, "Three million dollars."

　　"Why so much more than the others?" asked the interviewer.

　　The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I?ll give you $1 million, I?ll keep $1 million, and we?ll send the engineer to Mars."

　　關於爆笑的英語笑話：Lawyer's personal injury

　　A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.

　　"I'm an attorney," the wincing man said, "and this is going to cost you $5000."

　　"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," the concerned golfer replied. "But I did yell 'fore'."

　　"I'll take it," the attorney said.

　　關於爆笑的英語笑話：A love for material goods

　　A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love my BMW, I love my BMW." Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was totaled. "My BMW! My BMW!" he sobbed.

　　A good Samaritan drove by and cried out, "Sir, sir, you're bleeding! And my god, your left arm is gone!"

　　The lawyer, horrified, screamed "My Rolex! My Rolex!"

　　關於爆笑的英語笑話：I just managed to settle an account!

　　A young attorney who had taken over his father?s practice rushed home elated one night."Dad, listen," he shouted, "I?ve finally settled that old McKinney suit.""Settled it!" cried his astonished father. "Why, you idiot! We have been living off of that money for five years!"

　　關於爆笑的英語笑話：An honest lawyer

　　An independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began interviewing young lawyers.

　　"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' lawyer?"

　　"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my dad lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

　　"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"

　　He squirmed in his seat and admitted, "My dad sued me for the money."