經典的簡單短小英語笑話

　　我國喜劇藝術源遠流長,豐富多彩,笑話便是綻放在喜劇藝苑中的一朵奇葩。下面是小編帶來的簡單短小英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　簡單短小英語笑話大全

　　***一***

　　遲鈍的老公PK委婉的提醒

　　Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a specialoccasion.

　　婚後已久，我丈夫往往在一個特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。

　　On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted,Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?

　　在我們結婚35週年紀念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：親愛的，你意識到我們在這兩個相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎?

　　Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, So, you want to switch seats?

　　他放下報紙，眼睛直直地望著我：因此，你想交換座位嗎?

　　***二***

　　A Careless Barber 催命理髮員

　　Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in?

　　理髮員：你進來時是不是繫著紅圍巾?

　　Customer: No.

　　顧客：沒有呀。

　　Barber: Oh, then I must have cut your throat.

　　理髮員：噢，那我肯定弄破了你的喉嚨。

　　簡單短小英語笑話欣賞

　　***一***

　　Doctor's Orders 緊遵醫囑

　　Brown: I'm sorry to see you so unwell. Have you seen the doctor?

　　布朗：看到你身體這樣不好真讓人難過。你去看醫生了嗎?

　　Jack: Yes. I'm having three baths a day.

　　傑克：看過了，我現在一天洗三次澡。

　　Brown: What for?

　　布朗：為什麼?

　　Jack: Don't know, doctor's orders. He gave me some medicine and told me to follow thedirections on the bottle, which read:" One tablespoonful to be taken three times a day in water."

　　傑克：我也不知道，這是醫生的囑咐。他給了我一些藥並告訴我要按照藥瓶上的說明去做。說明上面寫著“一天三次在水中服一湯匙。”

　　***二***

　　A smart horse 聰明的馬

　　There was a farmer who fell and broke his hip while he was plowing, and his horse immediatelygalloped five miles to the nearest town and returned, carrying a doctor on his back.

　　一位農夫在犁田時，不慎跌倒摔傷了屁股，他的馬立即飛奔到五哩外最近的小鎮，載了一位醫生回來。

　　"That's a pretty smart horse," the farmer's friend later observed."Well, he's not really sosmart," the farmer said. "The doctor he brought back was a veterinarian!"

　　一個朋友看到後便誇讚說：“你這匹馬真是聰明!”農夫說：“也沒有你想的那麼聰明啦!它帶來的是一位獸醫!”

　　***一***

　　Good News and Bad News 好訊息和壞訊息

　　An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently ondisplay.一名藝術家問畫廊老闆，最近有沒有人對他展出的畫感興趣。"I've got good news and badnews," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work andwondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he boughtall fifteen of your paintings."“這有好訊息和壞訊息，”老闆回答。“好訊息是有一位先生諮詢你的作品，他想知道在你死後你的畫會不會升值。我告訴他你的畫會升值，他就把你的15幅畫全都買走了。”"That'swonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?". With concern, the gallery ownerreplied, "The guy was your doctor."“真是太好了”，藝術家是喜形於色，“那壞訊息是什麼?”帶著關心的口吻，畫廊老闆回答，“買畫的人是你的醫生”。

　　***二***

　　Intelligent Son 聰明的兒子

　　One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn’t write the address and addressee‘s name on the envelope.

　　有一天,父親讓八歲的兒子去寄一封信,兒子已經拿著信跑了,父親才想起信封上沒寫地址和收信人的名字。

　　After the son comes back, the father asks him: “You have thrown the letter in the mail box?”

　　兒子回來後,父親問他:“你把信丟進郵筒了嗎?”

　　“Certainly”

　　“當然”

　　“You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?”

　　“你沒看見信封上沒有寫地址和收信人名字嗎?”

　　“I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope.”

　　“我當然看見信封上什麼也沒寫”

　　“Then why you didn’t take it back?”

　　“那你為什麼不拿回來呢?”

　　“I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!”