英文笑話帶翻譯爆笑大全

　　笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。小編精心收集了爆笑英文笑話帶翻譯，供大家欣賞學習!

　　爆笑英文笑話帶翻譯篇1

　　I Want to Get Out

　　A bar owner locked up his place at 2 a. m. and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only afew minutes when the phone rang." What time do you open up in the morning ?" he heard anobviously inebriated man inquire.

　　The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A fewminutes later there was another call and he heard the same voice ask the same question. "Listen," the owner shouted ,"there's no sense in asking me what time I open because Iwouldn't let a person in your condition in..."

　　"I don't want to get in," the caller interjected. "I want to get out."

　　我要出去

　　在凌晨兩點，酒吧店主鎖了店門，回家睡覺。他剛躺下幾分鐘，這時電話響了。“你早上幾點營業?”他聽到一位明顯已醉醺醺的男子的聲音。

　　店主非常氣憤，砰地一聲掛上電話又上床去睡。幾分鐘後又有一個電話，他聽到還是那個聲音問同樣的問題。“聽著，”店主嚷道，“不要問我什麼時候營業，因為我不會讓你這種人進……”

　　“我不是想進來，”那人打斷他的話，“我要出去。”

　　爆笑英文笑話帶翻譯篇2

　　An Adult Decision

　　The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for one. He argued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to make adult decisions. Sure enough, a few days after his 18th birthday, he come home with a tattoo. Although I was not happy about this, I was curious to see what symbol of masculinity he had chosen. There, on his shoulder, was a two-inch image of Mickey Mouse.

　　成年人的抉擇

　　我兒子十八歲前的那一年，他常常向我提出准許他文身。但我拒絕允許他這樣做。他爭辯說他不久就要成為男子漢了，並說他應該能夠作出成年人的抉擇了。果然，十八歲生日的幾天後，他文了身，回到家裡。儘管我對此感到不高興，但出於好奇，我想看看他選擇了什麼雄性象徵物。原來是他在肩上文了一個兩英寸長的米老鼠像。

　　爆笑英文笑話帶翻譯篇3

　　You're Not Going to Make it

　　Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physicianmotioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.

　　"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do toensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him astress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate loveto him every day.

　　On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"

　　"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it."

　　你活不成了

　　一個人得了重病，妻子伴隨他去看醫生。檢查過後，醫生示意病人的妻子到走廊見他。

　　“你丈夫病得很重，”醫生說，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要營養美味。第二，給他一個輕鬆的環境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都對他傾注熾熱的愛。”

　　在驅車回家的路上，丈夫問道：“醫生說了什麼?”

　　“很遺憾，”妻子說，“你活不成了。”