簡短搞笑的英語小笑話

　　一位著名的心理學家說，最好的笑話是文字遊戲。不僅能夠讓人發笑，還富有趣味性。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Early Shopper

　　It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

　　"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

　　"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

　　"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

　　採購過早

　　那天是聖誕節，法官在審訊犯人時也有點惻隱之心。“你為什麼而被起訴?”他問。

　　“採購聖誕節物品過早。”被告答。

　　“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購物多早?”

　　在商店開門之前，“犯人應道。

　　：Midway Tactics

　　Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhemto ensue.

　　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

　　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "FantasticDiscounts!"

　　The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".

　　中間戰術

　　三個互相爭生意的商店老闆在一條商業街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。

　　右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價!”“特便宜!”

　　左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價!”“大折扣!”

　　中間的商人隨後準備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：“***處”。

　　：款待Treat

　　As a rookie in the Atlantic City, N.J., Police department, I was assigned a beat on theboardwalk. Hardly a day went by when I didn't come upon a child who had become separatedfrom his parents.

　　One afternoon, I spotted a small boy standing alone, obviously lost. I tried to gain hisconfidence - I took him to the nearest ice-cream stand and bought him a cone. Time passedwith no sign of the boy's parents, so the next step was to call for a patrol car to take him toheadquarters. I told the small fry to stay put while I went to the call box. When I returned, hewas nowhere in sight.

　　Within minutes, the car arrived, and one of the patrolmen asked me where the child was. I feltstupid; it's humiliating to say you've lost a lost child. But I told the officers what had happenedand gave a description of the boy. "What did you treat him?" asked one of the men.

　　"An ice-cream cone. Why?"

　　"Because," answered the officer, "that kid lives only a few blocks from here, and you've aboutthe fifth rookie he's conned for a treat!"

　　我是新澤西州大西洋城警察局的一名新警察。我被指派巡邏一條海濱的路線，幾乎每天都能碰上與父母走散的孩子。

　　一天下午，我發現一個小孩獨自站在那裡，顯然是迷了路。我先是設法取得他的信任-我帶他到附近的冰淇淋攤給他買了一個蛋筒。過了很長時間，也沒看見他父母的影子，所以我就準備打電話叫輛巡邏車將他送回總部去。我告訴他站在那裡別動，我去電話亭打電話。當我回來時，卻發現他不知道到哪兒去了。

　　警車很快來了。一名警察問我小孩在哪裡。我感覺自己傻極了，說自己弄丟了一個迷路的小孩，該多丟人啊!但我還是告訴了警察們所發生的一切，並描述了一下小孩的長相。“你請他吃了什麼?”一名警察問。

　　“一個冰淇淋蛋筒。怎麼啦?”

　　“因為，”那名警察說，“那個小孩住的地方離這兒只隔幾個街區。而你大概是新警察中幫他買東西吃的第五個傻瓜蛋!”