一篇英文笑話

　　笑話由於其滑稽可笑的特點而為人們長久以來所喜愛。而人們對笑話的熱衷與喜愛也促使人們在開懷捧腹的同時對笑話為何能夠使人發笑這一問題進行思考。下面是小編帶來的經典英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　經典英語笑話篇一

　　True Dedication! 好投入啊!

　　Mrs. Fortesque was getting more and more worried.

　　福特斯克太太越來越擔心。

　　Her husband had left for a round of golf early in the morning and by mid-afternoon he still wasn't home.

　　因為她先生一早出去打高爾夫球，到下午三四點都還沒回家。

　　Evening came and Mr.Fortesque still hadn't returned.

　　甚至到傍晚也還不見人影。

　　The lady was just about to call the police when she heard her husband's car pulling into the drive way.

　　福特斯克太太正要打電話報警就聽到她先生開車回來了。

　　Rushing outside, she told her husband, "Darling, I was so worried about you. What kept you?"

　　她衝出門外，向她先生說道："親愛的，我一整天都在擔心你，是什麼事把你耽擱了?"

　　"Charlie had a heart attack on the fourth hole."

　　“查理在第四洞時心臟病發作。”

　　"Oh, my goodness, that's terrible!"

　　“喔，天哪，真可怕!”

　　"You're telling me! All day long it was shoot the ball, drag Charlie, shoot the ball, drag Charlie . . . . "

　　“那還用你說嗎!一整天我都一邊打球，一邊拉查理，一會兒打球，一會兒拖查理，……

　　經典英語笑話篇二

　　老年是人生的第二個童年期嗎?

　　An old man sees a little boy sitting on a curb, crying.

　　一位老人看見一個小男孩坐在路旁號啕大哭。

　　"What's the matter, little boy?" he asks.

　　“怎麼回事，小兄弟?”老人問道。

　　"I can't do what the big boys do. "

　　“大男孩能做的事，我都不能做。”

　　The old man sits down next to him and starts crying too.

　　聽了他的話，老人坐在小男孩旁邊也開始哭了起來。

　　經典英語笑話篇三

　　特別來賓

　　A lawyer finds himself at the Pearly Gates at the same time as the pope.

　　一位律師發現他和某教宗一起到達天堂的珍珠門。

　　Both men are allowed to enter heaven.

　　兩個人都被允許進入天堂。

　　and the lawyer is ensconced in a magnificent mansion.

　　律師被安置在一間豪華的別墅，

　　But he sees that the pope is housed in a far more humble dwelling.

　　但他卻見到教宗被安排住在非常簡陋的住所。

　　Unable to restrain his curiosity,the lawyer asks St.Peter about it.

　　由於好奇心的驅使，律師問聖彼得其中原委。

　　“Well, you see,” replies St. Peter, "we have dozens of popes up here, but we-ve never had alawyer before. "

　　“哦，你看我們這裡有好幾十位教宗，可是你卻是第一個上天堂的律師呢!”聖彼得答道。

　　經典英語笑話篇四

　　Talk about Luck

　　好運跟著保險來

　　"For the last time, I don't want any insurance ! " said the harassed householder to thesalesman

　　“這是最後一次了，我不要買任何保險!”被騷擾的房主對推銷員說道。

　　"Just a moment, sir. Please consider this :Just last month I sold a policy to a man much likeyourself.

　　“等一會兒，先生，請您仔細考慮一下：上個月有一位先生長得跟你很像，他剛買了一份保險，

　　The very next day his house caught fire. The house was completely gutted.

　　隔天他家就著火，房子內部全都被燒燬，

　　To save himself, he had to leap from an upstairs window; he landed on his own car, wentthrough the roof, broke both his legs and an arm.

　　為了保住性命，他從樓上窗戶跳下來，恰巧落在他的汽車上，穿過車頂，他摔斷了兩條腿和一隻手臂。”

　　""Well, he was one of the lucky ones, wasn't he?"

　　“喔!他就是你所說的幸運人士中的一個，不是嗎?

　　經典英語笑話篇五

　　Thanks a Lot Sarge

　　多謝了，班長

　　The sergeant had just completed the morning inspection of the troops.

　　一位班長剛完成部隊晨間檢查。

　　"Before I dismiss you, there's just one announcement. Private Kowalski, your mother is dead.Dismissed."

　　“解散之前，有件事要宣佈一下，二等兵卡瓦斯基，你母親已經過世了。解散!”

　　The soldier was devastated, of course, and the lieutenant was appalled at the sergeant'sheartlessness.

　　當然，那位士兵遭受很大的打擊，而排長也訝異於班長的冷酷無情。

　　"For Heaven' s sake, sergeant, next time you have to inform a trooper of a loved one' sdemise,please be a little more subtle," he said.

　　“看在老天的份分上，班長，下次你要告訴弟兄們有親人死亡時，請多用點技巧，委婉一些，”排長說道。

　　A few weeks later, sorry to say, the sergeant had another opportunity.

　　幾個禮拜之後，很不幸那位班長又有一次機會。

　　Lining up his troops, he ordered, "All of you whose mother is still alive, step forward. Not you,Johnson."

　　集合了部隊，他下口令道：“所有媽媽尚健在的，前進一步。你，約翰遜，除外。”