小學一年級英語笑話閱讀

　　簡單的英語笑話可以給小學生們緊張的學習生活增添幾分輕鬆的情趣，讓他們能夠在緊張的學習之餘放輕鬆。本文是小學一年級英語笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　小學一年級英語笑話：Science and Life

　　Mr. Smythe had been giving his second-grade students a short lesson on science.

　　He had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. And now it was question time...

　　"Class," said he, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things... What am I?"

　　A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother!"

　　小學一年級英語笑話：NO UGLY FACES

　　Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

　　Smiling sweetly the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."

　　The student looked up at her and replied, "Well, you can't say you weren't warned."

　　小學一年級英語笑話：School Answer

　　Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

　　A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''

　　The Teacher fainted.

　　小學一年級英語笑話：Moral stories

　　The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment... Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

　　The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

　　Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.

　　One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."

　　"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

　　"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

　　"Very good," said the teacher.

　　Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market.

　　We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched."

　　"That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story to share?"

　　"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen.

　　Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the Gulf War and her plane was hit.

　　She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.

　　She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.

　　She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets.

　　Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. Then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

　　"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

　　"Stay the f#ck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."

　　小學一年級英語笑話：Misunderstanding 誤會

　　A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet 3 inches tall, 385 pounds, 12 inch penis, 2 pound left testicle, 2 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

　　The small guy faints away and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, gently slapping his face and shaking him, "Are you alright?"

　　In a very weak voice the little guy says, "Excuse me, but what EXACTLY did you say?"

　　The big dude says, "I saw the curious look on your face and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions almost everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet 3 inches tall, 385 pounds, 12 inch penis, 2 pound left testicle, 2 pound right testicle, and my name is Turner Brown."

　　The small guy says, "Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn Around'.