關於爆笑的英文笑話大全

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　　關於爆笑的英文笑話：兔子的論文

　　It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

　　這是一個陽光燦爛的晴朗日子，森林裡一隻小兔子坐在洞穴外，在打字機上敲敲打打。這時一隻散步的狐狸走了過來。

　　Fox: "What are you working on?"

　　狐狸：“你在做什麼呢?”

　　Rabbit: "My thesis."

　　兔子：“寫我的論文。”

　　Fox: "Hmmm. What's it about?"

　　狐狸：“唔，是關於什麼的?”

　　Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

　　兔子：“噢，我在寫兔子是怎樣吃掉狐狸的。”

　　Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."

　　狐狸：“你太搞笑了吧!誰都知道兔子不吃狐狸。”

　　Rabbit: "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."

　　兔子：“兔子當然吃，我能證明的。跟我來。”

　　They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.

　　它們一起消失在兔子的洞穴裡，幾分鐘後只有兔子獨自出來了。它回到打字機前繼續敲打。

　　Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

　　很快，一隻狼走了過來，停下看著兔子奮力工作。

　　Wolf: "What's that you're writing?"

　　狼：“你在寫什麼呢?”

　　Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

　　兔子：“我在寫論文，關於兔子如何吃掉狼。”

　　Wolf: "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"

　　狼：“你不會指望這種垃圾論文被髮表吧!”

　　Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

　　兔子：“能發表，你想知道為什麼嗎?”

　　The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

　　兔子和狼一起進了洞穴，而兔子又一次獨自走了出來。幾分鐘後它繼續打字。

　　Inside the rabbit's burrow: In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.

　　兔子洞穴裡：一個角落裡是一堆狐狸骨頭，另一角落裡是一堆狼骨頭。而另一側是一隻獅子，它邊打著飽嗝，邊剔著牙齒。

　　It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject.

　　論文的題目選什麼無關緊要。

　　It doesn't matter what you use for data.

　　你用什麼作為例證資料也無關緊要。

　　What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.

　　真正重要的是：你的論文導師是誰!

　　關於爆笑的英文笑話：絕妙的技巧

　　after friends of mine landed at busy newwark airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. in desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.

　　我的朋友們在繁忙的紐瓦克機場著陸後，他們卻不能招呼到腳伕來幫他們搬行李。無奈，丈夫拿出一張五美元的鈔票在人群上面搖晃。

　　in an instant, a skycap was at his side. sir, observed the porter, you certainly have excellent communication skills.

　　一個頻寬邊帽的人馬上來到他身邊。“先生，”腳伕說道，“很明顯你有絕妙的交際技巧。”

　　關於爆笑的英文笑話：漂亮的結婚禮物

　　we attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. we look forward to using it soon.

　　我們參加了一個熟人的兒子的婚禮。由於我們都不認識那個年輕人和他的新娘，所以我們決定送給他們一個實用的全家禮----一個滅火器。很明顯，這對新人大批量製作了他們的感謝信，因為我們收到了一張卡片，上面寫著：“非常感謝您的漂亮的結婚禮物，我們期待著不久就用到它。”

　　關於爆笑的英文笑話：超速行駛的原因

　　harry and lloyd were speeding down the road. a police car pulled them over.

　　哈里與勞埃德超速行駛，一輛警車攔住了他們。

　　"why on earth were you driving so fast?" the policeman yelled.

　　“你們為什麼開那麼快?”警官喊道。

　　"our brakes are no good, so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!

　　“我們的剎車不好，因此我們想在發生事故前趕緊到達目的地。”

　　關於爆笑的英文笑話：精神病醫生

　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

　　傑瑞去看精神病醫生。“醫生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時候，我都感覺有人在床下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時間，”醫生說，“每週來三次，我會治好你。”“費用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會認真考慮的。”傑瑞答道。六個月後醫生和傑瑞在街上相遇了，“為什麼你再也沒來呢?”醫生問。“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個酒吧服務生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎麼做到的?”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉。現在那沒人了!”

　　
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