英文爆笑笑話

　　下面是小編整理的，希望對大家有幫助。

　　一：Lawyer and Engineer

　　A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything."

　　"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."

　　The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.

　　一個律師與一個工程師在加勒比海邊釣魚。律師說：“我到這裡是因為我的房子被大火燒了，保險公司賠償了我所有的損失。”

　　“這太巧了，”工程師說，“我是因為房子被洪水沖垮了，保險公司也賠償了所有的損失。”

　　律師看起來有些困惑，“你是怎麼引起洪水的?”他不解的問。

　　二：預報天氣的印第安人

　　The Indian Who Could Foretell the Weather Two men were travelling in a very wild and lonely part of America. For days they had not even seen a house， only a few huts made of wood， or tents made of skins. Then one day they met an old Indian who earned his living by trapping animals for heir fur. They found that he knew their language and they had a little conversation with him. One of them asked him if he could tell them what the weather would be like within the next few days. “Oh yes，”he said.“Rain is coming， and wind.Then there will be snow for two days， but after that there will be bright sunshine.” “Is n't that wonderful?” said one man to his friend.“These old Indians know more of the secrets of Nature than we do with all our science. They have not been spoiled by civilization.” Then he turned to the old Indian. “Tell me，”he said，“how you knew all that.” The Indian replied，“I heard it on the radio.”

　　有兩個人在美洲一個非常荒涼偏僻的地區旅行。好多天來，他們連所房子也沒看到，只看見幾個木棚子和皮帳篷。一天，他們遇到一個靠獵取獸皮謀生的印第安老人。他們發現他懂得他們的語言，就和他聊了一會兒。其中一個人問他，能否告知近幾天的天氣如何。 “哦，行啊”，他說。“就要下雨了，還要颳風。接著還得下兩天雪。這以後，就是大晴天了。” “這不是太神奇了嗎?”一個旅行者對他的朋友說。“這些印第安老人深知大自然的祕密，比我們有科學知識的人知道的還多。他們並沒有被現代文明所迷惑。”接著他轉向印第安老人： “請問，”他說，“你是怎麼知道這一切的呢?” 印第安老人答道：“我是從無線電裡聽來的。”

　　三：A Problem in Arithmetic

　　Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all of the arithmetic problems in his book easily.

　　One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruit store. There was a sign in the window which said, "Apple-Six for five cents." An idea came to Bill and he went into the store. "How much are the apples?" he asked the store.

　　"Six for five cents." "But I don't want six apples." "How many apples do you want?" "It is not a question of how many apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic." "What do you mean by a problem in arithmetic?" asked the man.

　　"Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worth four cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples are worth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worth nothing then it is not necessary for me to pay you."

　　Bill picked out a good apple, began to eat it, and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprise that he could not say a word.

　　比爾是一個好學生，也是個聰明的孩子。他喜歡學數學，課本上所有的數學問題他都能不費勁地解答。

　　有一天，在上學路上，比爾經過一家水果店。該店窗戶上有個招牌上寫著：“蘋果--五美分六個。”比爾腦筋一轉，進了店門。 “蘋果怎麼賣?” “五美分六個。” “但我不想要六個。” “你想要幾個?” “這不是我想要幾個的問題。這是個數學問題。” “數學問題?你說這話是什麼意思?”

　　“你看，如果六個蘋果五美分，那麼五個蘋果四美分，四個蘋果三美分，三個蘋果二美分，二個蘋果一美分，一個蘋果就不要錢。我只要一個蘋果，如果一個蘋果一分錢也不要的話，那我也就沒必要給你錢了。”

　　比爾揀了一個好蘋果，開始吃了起來，然後興高采烈地邁出了店門。那個售貨員吃驚地望著這個小男孩，一句話也說不出來。

　　四： Prize

　　獎品

　　Little Albert came home from school with a new book under his arm.“It’s a prize，mother，”he explained.

　　小阿爾伯特腋下夾著一本新書從學校回家來了。“這是獎品，媽媽。”他解釋道。

　　"A prized What for，dear"

　　“獎品?因為什麼得的，寶貝?”

　　"For natural history. Teacher asked me how many legs an ostrich has and I said three."

　　“因為自然史。老師問我鴕鳥有幾條腿，我說有三條。”